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Those who were wishing to actually witness a few rounds of fisticuffs between crummy filmmaker Uwe Boll and occasionally crummy filmmaker Michael Bay (following Boll's challenge last weekend) have certainly ridden a rollercoaster of excitement and disappointment these past few days. We admit, we got pretty pumped after viewing the above video, a supposed confirmation that Bay had accepted Boll's terms, and that the two would meet in the ring -- unfortunately, this directorial showdown isn't in the cards (much to Boll's chagrin, we're sure).

An administrator on Michael Bay's official forums recently talked to the blockbuster poster boy (currently doing post-production work for "The Horsemen") who denied accepting Boll's challenge, and claimed he'd never spoken directly with Boll in the first place. We can't help but wonder -- is this another publicity stunt for the antagonized franchise-wrecker in light of the May 23 U.S. release for "Postal", or has Uwe finally lost his damn mind? Little from Column A, little from Column B.

[Thanks, Fernando]

Anthony Bourdain is probably the flyest guy you've never heard of -- he's a life long student of the culinary arts, star of the popular show "No Reservations" on the unpopular Travel Channel, and is smarter and better-traveled than a handful of Ernest Hemingways. On top of a stack of best selling books and a successful culinary career, Bourdain now has a few more feats to tack on to his resume following his show's recent trip to Vancouver -- he's a special guest in EA Sports' FIFA Street 3, and and extra in Uwe Boll's next box office train wreck, "Far Cry".

Yes, during his trip to the Great White North, Bourdain not only had the opportunity to have a (hideous) character modeled after him at EA Vancouver's swanky headquarters, he also got to drop by the Far Cry set (check it out after the jump), where it seems he received a fairly cold reception from Boll. That's okay, though -- before taking the stage as "Dr. Gets Shot in the Chest", Bourdain added his own commentary about Boll's burgeoning career -- "Perhaps you know his work from such films as 'House of the Dead' and 'Bloodrayne'."

"And then," he says with a smug grin, "maybe not."

Infamous video game director Uwe Boll is going to have to find a new "star" to drag through the mud. Kristanna Loken, star of two Boll films -- BloodRayne and the as-of-yet unreleased In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale -- has thrown the "engaged to be engaged" ring back in Uwe's face and has decided to move on to bigger and better things. BloodRayne 2 is just not in the Hollywood stars for Loken. Good move, Ms. Loken, Uwe just isn't good enough for you.

Loken's official statement is that she's too busy working on Painkiller Jane, a Sci-Fi series. Replacing Loken as Rayne (and Uwe's next "fling") in BloodRayne 2 (the first one warranted a sequel?) is Natassia Malthe. After checking IMDB, we discovered that Malthe doesn't exactly have a stellar career of her own. We have to respectfully inform Ms. Malthe that those "Oscars" in Uwe's office are made of Papier-Mâchè.

Loken's excuse for not working on a third Boll movie and reprising her role as Rayne is questionable. Maybe Loken decided it was about time to get out of the acting gutter and start working on some better projects? In any case, that hasn't stopped Boll from wasting other people's money; working on future flops such as Postal, Far Cry, Alone in the Dark 2 (again with the sequels) and non-gaming IP Seed. Who knows, maybe BloodRayne 2 will turn out like Superman Returns as Uwe claims; a dull movie that somehow managed to make a profit.

(We are proactively denying any future boxing challenges Uwe Boll may deliver ... you fight too dirty, bro.)

Uwe Boll (the man responsible for making a mockery of video game movies -- all three of his video game movies appear on IMDB's Bottom 100 list) finally managed to silence one of his critics yesterday. He didn't do it by making a movie worth squat, but by applying his fists to the mouth of Carlos Palencia Jimenez-Arguello, webmaster of Cine Cutre.

Despite his inability to satisfy film critics (or perhaps because of it) Boll's no idiot. First, he knows how to box. Second, he's selected a bunch of pudgy web geeks (not unlike yours truly) to face him in the ring. Of course he's going to win.

At least Boll's good at something.