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Mega64 makes its own mind-blowing Final Fantasy XIII announcement
When Square Enix unveiled the English-language release date of Final Fantasy XIII, Joystiq commenter Chedder dared to ask the one question on everyone's mind. "Is it me or has the host of this video been drenched by a douche nozzle before they turned the cameras on?" Mega64 has the answer: yes.
Mega64's parody announcement one-ups Square Enix's hyperbolicinfomercial trailer with hilarious real-world "interviews." Oh, and if you're like Anemos, you'll probably love the ending. Check it out after the break.
Mega64's parody announcement one-ups Square Enix's hyperbolic
Lightning strikes the UK and US cover art of Final Fantasy XIII [Update]
The Final Fantasy series has been known to have some truly epic box art in the past, such as the man vs. machinery motif of the Final Fantasy VII cover, or the lovely, all-inclusive tableau featured on the front of the last entry in the core franchise. Imagine our surprise when we received the images above from Games Press -- it seems the cover for the UK version of Final Fantasy XIII will be considerably more simple than the box art of its predecessors. [Update: The US version of the box art will be identical to the UK version.]
We've posted larger versions of the two boxes in the gallery below. Check them out, but don't let those eyes of yours wander. Yes, we know her skirt is hiked to a precarious degree. We also know that the baby Jesus is watching your every action.
We've posted larger versions of the two boxes in the gallery below. Check them out, but don't let those eyes of yours wander. Yes, we know her skirt is hiked to a precarious degree. We also know that the baby Jesus is watching your every action.
Gallery: Final Fantasy XIII UK cover art
Japan facing Final Fantasy XIII oversaturation crisis
And you thought Halo 3-themed Game Fuel was bad. A recent round of advertisements have taken Japan by storm, all of which either shill for Final Fantasy XIII, or some product based on the unflagging RPG franchise. Posted after the break are a series of videos, including a short TV spot for the game, two ads for the presumably refreshing Elixir beverage, and a commercial for a commercial (well, a behind-the-scenes documentary) which will be released shortly after the game is released in Japan.
Also, they're making a perfume based off the game's main character. It's called Lightning eau de toilet. There's no video advertisement to accompany this news, but we'd have been remiss had we not mentioned it to you.
Also, they're making a perfume based off the game's main character. It's called Lightning eau de toilet. There's no video advertisement to accompany this news, but we'd have been remiss had we not mentioned it to you.
Japan summons one more Final Fantasy XIII trailer
The highlights of this lengthy preview are the franchise's trademark over-the-top summons -- made even more spectacular and grandiose for this generation's first numbered entry in the Final Fantasy series. Of course, Square Enix fans would have it no other way.
[Thanks, Brandon S.!]
Gallery: Final Fantasy XIII
Crystal Bearers dives into Europe February 5

In fact, with the game being released on a normal day instead of the day after Christmas, maybe someone in Europe will notice its release -- something we suspect may be a problem for a game that has been under the radar for most of its development.
NintendoWare Weekly: WiiWare demos, Pokemon Rumble, Indiana Jones' Greatest Adventures
Tweet about Xbox Final Fantasy XIII, win a mystery prize
Let's say you want to drum up some interest for the Xbox version of a beloved RPG series that has traditionally appeared on the Playstation. What would you do? Why, use Twitter, of course! The Xbox.com Final Fantasy XIII page is holding a social media event of sorts, offering Xbox Live members the chance to win "a secret Xbox Live prize." The gist of it is pretty simple, register at the Xbox.com Final Fantasy XIII page (US or UK), then post a tweet that contains the #FFXIIIXBOX hash tag and the URL of said Xbox.com page.
Once a certain number of tweets has been reached, the prize will be unlocked. There is no indication of what the prize may be, but we're hoping for some outlandish spiky hair for our Avatar. Barring that, we'd settle for a giant sword or some bizarrely effeminate accessories.
Once a certain number of tweets has been reached, the prize will be unlocked. There is no indication of what the prize may be, but we're hoping for some outlandish spiky hair for our Avatar. Barring that, we'd settle for a giant sword or some bizarrely effeminate accessories.
Final Fantasy XIII launches March 9, 2010 on PS3, 360
Download in HD from BigDownload
Final Fantasy XIII will launch in North America and Europe on March 9, 2010, just a few months after it debuts in Japan and nearly four years after it was originally announced. Since that time, Square Enix's flagship role-playing game has become a multiplatform project -- the English version will debut on PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 simultaneously -- as well as the first part of the Fabula Nova Crystallis series. It's also no longer the highest-numbered Final Fantasy game.
"We know that our fans have been eagerly awaiting the next installation of the franchise -- FINAL FANTASY XIII will exceed all expectations," said John Yamamoto, president, chief executive officer and official title shouter of Square Enix, Inc. "Coming simultaneously to PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 for the first time, FINAL FANTASY XIII will be available to all players who are looking for the most immersive gaming experience of 2010."
And you'll have to look -- we hear Q1 2010 is already swamped with immersive gaming experiences. That's not a complaint!
Gallery: Final Fantasy XIII
North American Final Fantasy XIV site introduces Gladiator and Pugilist classes
Are you a fan of punching? How about stabbing? How about punching people while wearing sharp implements capable of simultaneously stabbing them? It sounds like the two most recent additions to Final Fantasy XIV's list of "Disciplines" (that's fancy talk for "Classes") are right up your alley: Everyone, meet the Gladiator and Pugilist. Gladiator and Pugilist, everyone.
The two classes are detailed on the game's North American site, and a few of their deadly-looking tools of the trade have also been revealed. If you're a melee enthusiast who's looking forward to the next Squeenix-branded MMO, we highly suggest checking it out. Personally, we're waiting to hear more about the Thaumaturge. (He's got a pointy Black Mage hat, but he's not a Black Mage! We're so confused.)
The two classes are detailed on the game's North American site, and a few of their deadly-looking tools of the trade have also been revealed. If you're a melee enthusiast who's looking forward to the next Squeenix-branded MMO, we highly suggest checking it out. Personally, we're waiting to hear more about the Thaumaturge. (He's got a pointy Black Mage hat, but he's not a Black Mage! We're so confused.)
Japanese Final Fantasy XIII includes 'secret in-game item' for FFXIV
When Shonen Jump recently revealed Square Enix's intention to include a "campaign code" for something in Final Fantasy XIV with the first printing of Final Fantasy XIII, we weren't sure what to make of it. Thankfully, Famitsu's latest issue (translated by Andriasang) details the inter-franchise crossover content a bit more, calling it a "secret in-game item" and reporting it can be input before the upcoming MMO opens up to the public for a "limited edition item" of some type. It's unclear if the item will be available for use in the PC beta.
Apparently, Famitsu also notes that the item is exclusive to Japan and, though limited, will be included with all FFXIII PS3 bundles (also Japan-exclusive). Since we're certain that someone reading this is currently weighing the import costs of one of those bundles against the value of an exclusive virtual goody, we hope for you and your family's sake that a friend is by your side, calling in an intervention right now. It's really for the best.
Apparently, Famitsu also notes that the item is exclusive to Japan and, though limited, will be included with all FFXIII PS3 bundles (also Japan-exclusive). Since we're certain that someone reading this is currently weighing the import costs of one of those bundles against the value of an exclusive virtual goody, we hope for you and your family's sake that a friend is by your side, calling in an intervention right now. It's really for the best.
Gallery: Final Fantasy XIV
Final Fantasy XIII character progression system explained
Though the effeminate hairstyles have managed to stay in tact as the Final Fantasy franchise has evolved, one element seems to change from game to game: The character progression system. From Materia to Guardian Forces to the Sphere Grid and plain ol' leveling up, the series has introduced some novel forms of strengthening your characters. It sounds like Final Fantasy XIII will be no different -- according to the latest issue of Shonen Jump, the RPG introduces a new progression system called "Crystalium."
Andriasang laid out the gist of how the system operates -- instead of gaining experience from battles, players earn "Crystal Points," which they can then spend on new abilities and stat boosts which are arranged on a circular chart. As you progress down one of the chart's specialization trees, you unlock stronger abilities; Fire leads to Fira, and so on. Sounds a lot like the aforementioned Sphere Grid -- but we suppose we'll have to wait until we get our hands on the game before we can make a more insightful assessment.
Andriasang laid out the gist of how the system operates -- instead of gaining experience from battles, players earn "Crystal Points," which they can then spend on new abilities and stat boosts which are arranged on a circular chart. As you progress down one of the chart's specialization trees, you unlock stronger abilities; Fire leads to Fira, and so on. Sounds a lot like the aforementioned Sphere Grid -- but we suppose we'll have to wait until we get our hands on the game before we can make a more insightful assessment.
Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearers: The Pre-order Bonuses

Click to My Life as a King-size
If you purchase the game from Amazon (current price: $44.99), you'll get a 2010 calendar. If you opt for Best Buy, you'll get a soundtrack sampler, which probably has tracks from the game, rather than Bon Jovi singles. GameStop's offer is $5 off of reservations, but that's not terribly appealing, given that the reduced price is the same as what Amazon is offering, with no extra stuff.
New Final Fantasy XIII screenshots reintroduce Oerba
We're still dumbfounded by the fact that -- after years of endless CG teases and countdowns -- Final Fantasy XIII is actually coming out. While still pegged with a vague "Spring 2010" release, Square Enix has made good on its promise of a hastened localization. Already, the HUD sports English text, and the characters have been dubbed in English.
The latest batch of screenshots released by Square Enix focus on Oerba Yun Fang, a character introduced at Tokyo Game Show as a traitor working for the government. She may start out as a villain, but it seems one way or another, she's bound to join your party: these screens show her (and her summon) in actual gameplay screens, proving there will be some interactivity between the hours of cutscenes FF13 is bound to have.
The latest batch of screenshots released by Square Enix focus on Oerba Yun Fang, a character introduced at Tokyo Game Show as a traitor working for the government. She may start out as a villain, but it seems one way or another, she's bound to join your party: these screens show her (and her summon) in actual gameplay screens, proving there will be some interactivity between the hours of cutscenes FF13 is bound to have.
Gallery: Final Fantasy XIII (10/23)
No install for Final Fantasy XIII on PS3
If you were planning on making yourself a nice sandwich for your first session of Final Fantasy XIII, it looks like you'll have to make it before you pop the disc in your PS3. According to IGN, director Motomu Toriyama told Famitsu that FFXIII will not require an install on PS3. Furthermore, other than the transition between town and field segments, the game won't feature any loading screens at all. Toriyama stated that loading time was one of the biggest concerns from the beginning of development.
We're sure there were at least a few folks out there looking forward to watching a Chocobo take a smoke break. Alas, it just wasn't meant to be.
We're sure there were at least a few folks out there looking forward to watching a Chocobo take a smoke break. Alas, it just wasn't meant to be.
New Kingdom Hearts character is Sakaguchi's doppelganger
Exhibit A: Image, left. The creator of the Final Fantasy franchise, Hironobu Sakaguchi. Observe the slightly arched brow. The dark, even surfer's tan. The exquisite mustache and soul patch combo. The look of general disinterest.
Exhibit B: Image, right. The recently revealed character from Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep, Master Eraquis. Observe the similarly bowed eyebrows. The sun-kissed skin tone. The Guy Fawkes-esque facial hair. The expression of consternation.
What do you think, dearest readers? Is it a cameo, or pure coincidence? We're leaning towards the former. We mean, just look at those eyebrows. Look at them! At the very least, they're identical eyebrow twins.
[Via Andriasang]
Exhibit B: Image, right. The recently revealed character from Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep, Master Eraquis. Observe the similarly bowed eyebrows. The sun-kissed skin tone. The Guy Fawkes-esque facial hair. The expression of consternation.
What do you think, dearest readers? Is it a cameo, or pure coincidence? We're leaning towards the former. We mean, just look at those eyebrows. Look at them! At the very least, they're identical eyebrow twins.
[Via Andriasang]
























