Joystiq http://www.joystiq.com Joystiq http://www.blogsmithmedia.com/http://www.joystiq.com/media/feedlogo.gif Joystiq http://www.joystiq.com en-us Copyright 2012 Weblogs, Inc. The contents of this feed are available for non-commercial use only. Blogsmith http://www.blogsmith.com/<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation apparently missed the actual E3]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/07/30/zero-punctuation-apparently-missed-the-actual-e3/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/07/30/zero-punctuation-apparently-missed-the-actual-e3/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/07/30/zero-punctuation-apparently-missed-the-actual-e3/#commentsFiled under:


This week's Zero Punctuation makes us wonder: What E3 is Yahtzee talking about? Perhaps things seemed different from the outside, but this year's show actually saw a slew of original titles -- shockingly enough, many from the maw of EA. Sure, there is some serious sequelitus going on (and certain outlets really need to stop riding RE4 v2 RE5's rooster), but we were pleasantly surprised by some of the new IPs. Oh well, no sense in trying to convey some semblance of reason here. Carry on with the amusing hate.

Check out Yahtzee's NSFW take on E3 after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation apparently missed the actual E3

JoystiqZero Punctuation apparently missed the actual E3 originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 30 Jul 2008 18:15:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>e3-2008escapistyahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 30 Jul 2008 18:15:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation visits Conan in Hyboria]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/07/23/zero-punctuation-visits-conan-in-hyboria/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/07/23/zero-punctuation-visits-conan-in-hyboria/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/07/23/zero-punctuation-visits-conan-in-hyboria/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,


No matter how much the hardcore MMORPG crowd may want to deny it, almost every game in the genre wants to be, or wishes it could have been, World or Warcraft. This week's Zero Punctuation says as much, with Yahtzee trying to enjoy his Hyborian adventure but wandering into familiar -- but not quite right -- WoW territory.

Check out the NSFW review of Age of Conan after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation visits Conan in Hyboria

JoystiqZero Punctuation visits Conan in Hyboria originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 23 Jul 2008 21:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>age-of-conanage-of-conan-hyborian-adventuresconanescapistescapist-magazinePCyahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 23 Jul 2008 21:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation whips it good with Lego Indy]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/07/09/zero-punctuation-whips-it-real-good-with-lego-indy/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/07/09/zero-punctuation-whips-it-real-good-with-lego-indy/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/07/09/zero-punctuation-whips-it-real-good-with-lego-indy/#commentsFiled under: , , , , ,

Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee takes on both the Lego Indiana Jones game and the latest movie in his latest review. For his take on the game, the ornery critic comes up with an equation for figuring out how much you'll enjoy playing as Indy in the blockified platformer.

If doing mathematicals isn't your thing, just think about how much fun you'll have killing Short Round -- or Willie -- over and over again. Although it still doesn't beat the cathartic Jar-Jar killing of the Lego Star Wars game.

This week's NSFW ZP review of Lego Indy can be found after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation whips it good with Lego Indy

JoystiqZero Punctuation whips it good with Lego Indy originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 09 Jul 2008 18:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>ActionDSescapistescapist-magazineFamilyLegolego-indiana-jonesLego-Indiana-Jones-The-Original-AdventuresMicrosoftNintendoPS3Travellers-TalesTT-GamesWarner-Bros-InteractiveWBIEWiiXbox-360yahtzeeyahtzee-croshawzero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 09 Jul 2008 18:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation draws out the webcomic template]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/07/03/zero-punctuation-draws-out-the-webcomic-template/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/07/03/zero-punctuation-draws-out-the-webcomic-template/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/07/03/zero-punctuation-draws-out-the-webcomic-template/#commentsFiled under:


This week's Zero Punctuation takes a long, hard and ironic look at the glut of gaming webcomics. Yes, Yahtzee fully realizes the hypocrisy of his words, but that's not going to stop him from flinging poo and keeping those traffic numbers high. We imagine it getting weird when Yahtzee's piece about webcomics spawns more comics about the subject and proves everything he's saying in the first place.

The NSFW ZP review of webcomics can be found after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation draws out the webcomic template

JoystiqZero Punctuation draws out the webcomic template originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 03 Jul 2008 02:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>escapistescapist-magazinewebcomicwebcomicsyahtzeeyahtzee-croshawzero-punctuationzeropunctuationThu, 03 Jul 2008 02:00:00 EST<![CDATA[NINJA GAIDEN 2 presents: Zero Punctuation's MGS4 review]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/06/25/ninja-gaiden-2-presents-zero-punctuations-mgs4-review/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/06/25/ninja-gaiden-2-presents-zero-punctuations-mgs4-review/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/06/25/ninja-gaiden-2-presents-zero-punctuations-mgs4-review/#commentsFiled under: , ,


By the time the Zero Punctuation video review of Metal Gear Solid 4 ended, we still had another two and a half minutes of commercials to watch. Given our dire attention spans, we'd completely forgotten what had happened! But those ads sure are spiffy ... Wasn't it cool how Ryu Hyuwhatshisname from Ninja Gaiden II chopped those guys in half? Ninja Gaiden II is awesome! We should all go out and buy Ninja Gaiden II, right now!

... If you want to watch this week's review of ... what was it again? Oh, MGS4. Check it out after the break. Hey, did you see that ad for de-rez?

Continue reading NINJA GAIDEN 2 presents: Zero Punctuation's MGS4 review

JoystiqNINJA GAIDEN 2 presents: Zero Punctuation's MGS4 review originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 25 Jun 2008 16:45:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>escapistPS3zero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 25 Jun 2008 16:45:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation makes war, not love with Haze]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/06/21/zero-punctuation-makes-war-not-love-with-haze/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/06/21/zero-punctuation-makes-war-not-love-with-haze/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/06/21/zero-punctuation-makes-war-not-love-with-haze/#commentsFiled under: , ,


OK, we have a situation. Yahtzee's latest Zero Punctuation piece couldn't knock one out of the park with such a simple target like Haze. Even standard reviews did a good job roasting it. The curmudgeon expat still trashes the game, but it's like he received a Nectar injection and was fighting the effects as he put together the review ... seriously, we're talking about the game that can already be found for $40. We're hoping this week's review is merely a hiccup and that Haze will finally sink in on Yahtzee, making him go ballistic next week.

Due to technical difficulties we are unable to post ZP after the break. Please click the image above to see this week's episode.

JoystiqZero Punctuation makes war, not love with Haze originally appeared on Joystiq on Sat, 21 Jun 2008 02:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>escapisthazePS3yahtzeeyahtzee-croshawzero-punctuationzeropunctuationSat, 21 Jun 2008 02:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation not lovin' Oblivion]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/06/04/zero-punctuation-not-lovin-oblivion/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/06/04/zero-punctuation-not-lovin-oblivion/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/06/04/zero-punctuation-not-lovin-oblivion/#commentsFiled under: , , ,


To refill his rage this week, Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee took a trip back to the simpler time of 2006 and grabbed a copy of The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion off the new release shelf. Being a Western RPG, instead of a JRPG, the game actually stood a small chance of stealing Yahtzee's artificial heart. Of course, the problems with the voice acting and immersion that plagued the game when it first released haven't aged well. Yahtzee obviously takes the opportunity to jam a lead pipe into Oblivion and hoover out every last bit of hate he can.

Find this week's NSFW ZP review of the game where Patrick Stewart plays the emperor for about 10 minutes after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation not lovin' Oblivion

JoystiqZero Punctuation not lovin' Oblivion originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 04 Jun 2008 19:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>bethesda-softworksescapistoblivionPCXbox-360yahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 04 Jun 2008 19:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation unhappily discovers The World Ends With You]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/05/28/zero-punctuation-unhappily-discovers-the-world-ends-with-you/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/05/28/zero-punctuation-unhappily-discovers-the-world-ends-with-you/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/05/28/zero-punctuation-unhappily-discovers-the-world-ends-with-you/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Zero Punctuation discovers The World Ends With You this week. This sudden realization has caused him to send his vast internet army to your house and kill you. Really! Run!

Actually, The World Ends With You is a JRPG that's been getting some strongly supportive reviews from several outlets that do that reviewing sort of thing. As any disciple of Yahtzee knows at this point, he hates JRPGs and Nintendo -- the jury is still out though on which one he hates more. TWEWY gets off easy in this review by confusing Yahtzee to the point where he can't form an opinion and leaves it up to the audience.

Find this week's NSFW ZP review of another Japanese game with kids who have gravity defying hair after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation unhappily discovers The World Ends With You

JoystiqZero Punctuation unhappily discovers The World Ends With You originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 28 May 2008 19:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>ActionDSescapistNintendoRPGSquare-EnixThe-World-Ends-With-Youyahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 28 May 2008 19:30:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation pops old Painkiller for fun]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/05/22/zero-punctuation-pops-old-painkiller-for-fun/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/05/22/zero-punctuation-pops-old-painkiller-for-fun/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/05/22/zero-punctuation-pops-old-painkiller-for-fun/#commentsFiled under: ,

Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee rocks it old school this week in a trip down "kill everything you see" lane with a review of Painkiller. Way back in 2004, which if internet time is converted to normal time is circa 1674, Painkiller received better-than-average reviews by embracing the first-person shooter genre like it was the '90s and Doom was still en vogue. So, this week Yahtzee talks about the game "where you kill tons of dudes" and gets comfortable for the relatively dry summer release schedule ... well, winter for him.

Find this week's NSFW ZP review of a game featuring a gun that shoots shuriken and lightning after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation pops old Painkiller for fun

JoystiqZero Punctuation pops old Painkiller for fun originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 22 May 2008 01:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>escapistpainkillerPCyahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationThu, 22 May 2008 01:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation enjoys Grand Theft Auto-rotica]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/05/14/zero-punctuation-enjoys-grand-theft-auto-rotica/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/05/14/zero-punctuation-enjoys-grand-theft-auto-rotica/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/05/14/zero-punctuation-enjoys-grand-theft-auto-rotica/#commentsFiled under: , , ,


Zero Punctuation takes on Grand Theft Auto IV this week, but if you're one of the five people who didn't buy the game and are hoping for some ZP hate-fest on par with the Super Smash Bros. Brawl review ... then you have another thing coming. Yahtzee doesn't exactly suck GTA IV's "thumb" -- like he does Valve's -- but the issues he grasps onto are relatively minor points about getting lost in the side stuff. Not really full of his trademark, hyperbolic bile then. Shockingly, he even says that after finishing the review, he went back and played the game some more. It appears Niko Bellic has found a friend in Yahtzee.

Find this week's NSFW relative non-hate review of GTA IV after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation enjoys Grand Theft Auto-rotica

JoystiqZero Punctuation enjoys Grand Theft Auto-rotica originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 14 May 2008 16:45:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>escapistgrand-theft-autogrand-theft-auto-ivgrandtheftautograndtheftautoivgta-ivgtaivPS3Xbox-360yahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 14 May 2008 16:45:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation reviews fanboys]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/05/07/zero-punctuation-reviews-fanboys/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/05/07/zero-punctuation-reviews-fanboys/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/05/07/zero-punctuation-reviews-fanboys/#commentsFiled under:


Apparently Yahtzee found the fanboy uproar over his Super Smash Bros. Brawl review so irritating that this week's Zero Punctuation is dedicated to reviewing the unpaid console defenders out there. Yahtzee finds his rage again this week and lashes out in a way that many professionals who make their living off the internet wish they could. Not us, of course, we're too heavily medicated and just allow the sea of hate to wash over us in waves of brilliant pinks and purples. Numbness is the first step to professional happiness on the internetz.

Find Yahtzee's NSFW love-letter to fanboys after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation reviews fanboys

JoystiqZero Punctuation reviews fanboys originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 07 May 2008 22:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>escapistescapist-magazineescapistmagazinefanboysyahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 07 May 2008 22:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation takes on the God of War]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/30/zero-punctuation-takes-on-the-god-of-war/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/30/zero-punctuation-takes-on-the-god-of-war/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/30/zero-punctuation-takes-on-the-god-of-war/#commentsFiled under: , ,


Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee isn't content with taking on just God of War: Chains of Olympus this week. No, he takes on the whole bloody franchise. What we end up getting is almost four minutes of Yahtzee admitting that he's nitpicking and that the series helps give us relief from our 9 8:30 to 5 6 (with a half-hour lunch break) lives. The trademark Yahtzee anger just isn't there in this review, but considering it was overflowing in last week's Smash Bros. piece, an easing of tension might be good for a week.

This week's NSFW review eviscerating God of War: Chains of Olympus can be found after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation takes on the God of War

JoystiqZero Punctuation takes on the God of War originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>escapistgod-of-wargod-of-war-chains-of-olympusgodofwarPSPyahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 30 Apr 2008 16:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation beats up Smash Bros. Brawl ... you're surprised?]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/23/zero-punctuation-beats-up-smash-bros-brawl-youre-surprised/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/23/zero-punctuation-beats-up-smash-bros-brawl-youre-surprised/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/23/zero-punctuation-beats-up-smash-bros-brawl-youre-surprised/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,


This is the Zero Punctuation that'll make the Nintendo Defense Force mobilize and threaten nuclear annihilation. This week Yahtzee takes on one of the Wii's golden cows with his review wholesale bludgeoning of Super Smash Bros. Brawl. For those just joining the ZP party, Yahtzee doesn't like Nintendo very much. If you love SSBB, great. If you don't like it, that's great too. Just sit back and enjoy the review for the spectacle in hatred it is.

Fanboys, prepare for masochism after the break with this week's NSFW review of Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation beats up Smash Bros. Brawl ... you're surprised?

JoystiqZero Punctuation beats up Smash Bros. Brawl ... you're surprised? originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 23 Apr 2008 20:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>escapistescapist-magazinessbbWiiyahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 23 Apr 2008 20:30:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation believes in No More Heroes]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/09/zero-punctuation-believes-in-no-more-heroes/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/09/zero-punctuation-believes-in-no-more-heroes/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/09/zero-punctuation-believes-in-no-more-heroes/#commentsFiled under: , , ,


Zero Punctuation discovers that we could use another hero (and a way home) in this week's review of Suda 51's No More Heroes. Rightful finger-pointing at Suda 51's pretentiousness starts the review, but it soon gets slashed away by Yahtzee's belief that No More Heroes does offer something "different." As we all know, "different" is this industry's version of the Monopoly "Get Out of Jail Free" card. It won't save a game from nasty reviews, but the cuts are certainly less deep.

Thunderdome your way to this week's NSFW review of No More Heroes after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation believes in No More Heroes

JoystiqZero Punctuation believes in No More Heroes originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 23:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>escapistno-more-heroesnomoreheroesWiiyahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 09 Apr 2008 23:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation is an army of one in Army of Two]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/02/zero-punctuation-is-an-army-of-one-in-army-of-two/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/02/zero-punctuation-is-an-army-of-one-in-army-of-two/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/04/02/zero-punctuation-is-an-army-of-one-in-army-of-two/#commentsFiled under: , ,

The normally solitary Yahtzee (he is a PC snob after all) takes on Army of Two this week, a game designed to be played co-op -- so we already know this is going to end badly. After becoming frustrated with his computer partner's AI, he decides to invite a friend over and proceeds to become frustrated with his human companion's abilities as well. Like any listener of the Joystiq Podcast already knows, Army of Two has a lot of issues, the least of which is forgetting that for a co-op action shooter it sort of missed the boat on creating an enjoyable co-op experience.

This week's NSFW review of Army of Two can be found after the break. Watch it with a friend, or if you're a PC gamer your favorite plant.*

*Oh, calm down ... this is coming from the blogger who can spend days playing Civilization IV and Sins of a Solar Empire.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation is an army of one in Army of Two

JoystiqZero Punctuation is an army of one in Army of Two originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 02 Apr 2008 16:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>Army-of-2army-of-twoarmyoftwoEA-MontrealElectronic-ArtsescapistMicrosoftPS3the-escapistXbox-360yahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 02 Apr 2008 16:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation hunts Turok and other FPSs]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/19/zero-punctuation-hunts-turok-and-other-fpss/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/19/zero-punctuation-hunts-turok-and-other-fpss/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/19/zero-punctuation-hunts-turok-and-other-fpss/#commentsFiled under: , , ,


Zero Punctuation tries to be helpful this week by beating Turok with blunt vocabulary and attempting to help other first person shooter developers not make the same mistakes. The six minor points Yahtzee lays out ask shooters not to be cheap imitations of Halo, which itself is a cheap knock-off of ... oh, let's avoid finishing that sentence for the sake of being able to turn on the car tomorrow morning with reasonable knowledge it won't explode.

This week's NSFW review of that game with dinosaurs, Turok, is embedded all cozy-like after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation hunts Turok and other FPSs

JoystiqZero Punctuation hunts Turok and other FPSs originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 19 Mar 2008 19:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>disneyescapistPS3the-escapisttouchstoneturokXbox-360yahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 19 Mar 2008 19:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation doesn't find paradise in Burnout]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/12/zero-punctuation-doesnt-find-paradise-in-burnout/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/12/zero-punctuation-doesnt-find-paradise-in-burnout/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/12/zero-punctuation-doesnt-find-paradise-in-burnout/#commentsFiled under: , , ,


Zero Punctuation takes a spin in Burnout Paradise this week and discovers that cars have taken over Paradise City and people are nowhere to be found. The main sticking point Yahtzee has with the game is that while Burnout Paradise has an open world like Grand Theft Auto, requiring the player to look at a map during a high-speed chase is a bit awkward. He realizes the game isn't designed for him, but rather for people who don't have time to play games and are too busy having carnal relations.

This week's NSFW review of Burnout Paradise, involving a joke about female menstruation and biscuit mutilation, can be found after the break.

[Thanks, Sam]

Continue reading Zero Punctuation doesn't find paradise in Burnout

JoystiqZero Punctuation doesn't find paradise in Burnout originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 12 Mar 2008 18:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>burnout-paradiseburnoutparadiseescapistkonamiparadisePS3theescapistXbox-360yahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 12 Mar 2008 18:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation tears up Devil May Cry 4]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/05/zero-punctuation-tears-up-devil-may-cry-4/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/05/zero-punctuation-tears-up-devil-may-cry-4/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/05/zero-punctuation-tears-up-devil-may-cry-4/#commentsFiled under: , ,


Did you feel that Devil May Cry 4 was so busy with its own style that it neglected to actually let you play -- well, so did Yahtzee. This week Zero Punctuation takes on DMC 4, the game which pulled a Metal Gear Solid 2 on us and introduced a character who was kind of like our original hero, but totally not. Don't be upset with Yahtzee's rage DMC fanboys, take solace in the knowledge that your beloved franchise has already shipped 2 million copies.

This week's less NSFW than usual review of Devil May Cry 4 can be found after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation tears up Devil May Cry 4

JoystiqZero Punctuation tears up Devil May Cry 4 originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 05 Mar 2008 21:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>capcomdevil-may-cry-4devilmaycry4dmc4escapistPS3theescapistXbox-360yahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 05 Mar 2008 21:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation seeks Drake's Fortune, snorts some GDC]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/02/27/zero-punctuation-seeks-drakes-fortune-snorts-some-gdc/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/02/27/zero-punctuation-seeks-drakes-fortune-snorts-some-gdc/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/02/27/zero-punctuation-seeks-drakes-fortune-snorts-some-gdc/#commentsFiled under: , ,


Wow, Yahtzee needs to visit the States more often if spending such a small amount of time for GDC brings on this level of devilishly delightful hate. This week Zero Punctuation takes on -- some will say quite unfairly -- Uncharted: Drake's Fortune. Every little possibly insane nit-pick thing is leveled against poor Uncharted, including the fact that it's the best game for white supremacists ever. The issues are quite silly for a game that is currently one of the few jewels in the PS3's crown, but Yahtzee is in top entertainment form -- he even makes a rare appearance au naturel (like as a human, not naked).

Included after the break with this week's NSFW review of Uncharted: Drake's Fortune is ZP's video presentation at the Game Developers Choice awards.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation seeks Drake's Fortune, snorts some GDC

JoystiqZero Punctuation seeks Drake's Fortune, snorts some GDC originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 27 Feb 2008 16:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>escapistgdc08PS3theescapistuncharteduncharted-drakes-fortuneyahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 27 Feb 2008 16:30:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation attempts building SimCity Societies]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/02/13/zero-punctuation-attempts-building-simcity-societies/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/02/13/zero-punctuation-attempts-building-simcity-societies/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/02/13/zero-punctuation-attempts-building-simcity-societies/#commentsFiled under: , , , , ,


If you believe that Zero Punctuation's only reason for playing SimCity Societies was to make a totalitarian government in the vein of the Nazi regime -- well, you'd be right. This week Yahtzee takes on the fantastically average game and ends up complaining about it more than making fun of it. In the end he says that SimCity Societies isn't worth the player's time, but then anybody who actually bought SimCity Societies probably already knows that.

After the break you'll find this week's NSFW review of SimCity Societies, with special Team Fortress 2 homage to the love which dare not speak its name.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation attempts building SimCity Societies

JoystiqZero Punctuation attempts building SimCity Societies originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 13 Feb 2008 23:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>escapistPCPS3simcity-societiessimcitysocietiesteam-fortress-2teamfortress2theescapistXbox-360yahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 13 Feb 2008 23:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation 'previews' begin on X-Play Feb. 12]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/02/11/zero-punctuation-previews-begin-on-x-play-feb-12/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/02/11/zero-punctuation-previews-begin-on-x-play-feb-12/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/02/11/zero-punctuation-previews-begin-on-x-play-feb-12/#commentsFiled under:


If you can't wait until Wednesdays to get your Zero Punctuation fix, G4's X-Play will begin showing "previews" of Yahtzee's adventures in game-review land every Tuesday beginning February 12 before the "uncut" reviews are posted on The Escapist the following day.

Basically, G4 will probably be showing a watered-down (i.e. censored) version of the profanity-laden reviews before The Escapist gives us our quality fix the following day. Although its nice that G4 is presumably giving Mr. Croshaw some extra cash to spend on hookers with genetic anomalies, perhaps X-Play (and its revamped format) could come up with something original to grab viewers instead of riding The Escapist's coattails? But, this is clearly a win-win for both sides.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation 'previews' begin on X-Play Feb. 12

JoystiqZero Punctuation 'previews' begin on X-Play Feb. 12 originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 11 Feb 2008 20:25:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>escapistg4theescapistx-playxplayzero-punctuationzeropunctuationMon, 11 Feb 2008 20:25:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation hears the Call of Duty]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/02/07/zero-punctuation-hears-the-call-of-duty/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/02/07/zero-punctuation-hears-the-call-of-duty/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/02/07/zero-punctuation-hears-the-call-of-duty/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,


The Call of Duty 4 fans demanded it and this week Zero Punctuation finally reviews one of the best games of 2007. Yahtzee isn't keen on Americans or patriotic "gun wank" games, so it probably speaks to CoD4's amazing design that he actually seemed to care during that scene (watch the review if you want the spoiler). Take heart CoD4 fanboys, Yahtzee seemed to enjoy his time in nameless-sandy-country. The experience didn't bring him Portal levels of elation, but he did enjoy it enough that he forgot to eat dinner.

After the break is where you'll find this week's NSFW review of CoD4.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation hears the Call of Duty

JoystiqZero Punctuation hears the Call of Duty originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 07 Feb 2008 03:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>call-of-duty-4callofduty4cod4escapistPS3theescapistXbox-360yahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationThu, 07 Feb 2008 03:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation goes through the motions with Umbrella Chronicles]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/01/30/zero-punctuation-goes-through-the-motions-with-re-umbrella-chron/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/01/30/zero-punctuation-goes-through-the-motions-with-re-umbrella-chron/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/01/30/zero-punctuation-goes-through-the-motions-with-re-umbrella-chron/#commentsFiled under: ,


The anger just isn't there this week as Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee experiences the difficulty curve of the Wii's zombie-blasting rail shooter, Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles. Yahtzee still "brings it" to our expectations, but what is there left to "be brought" when mocking the Resident Evil series?

Yahtzee takes digs at the RE story, dialogue, and tops it with some decent potshots at the characters -- but really, who hasn't done that at this point in gaming history? In the end, he respects Umbrella Chronicles for doing something different. Hopefully The Escapist can afford to get the guy a game to actually be angry about next week.

After the break is where you'll find this week's NSFW clip.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation goes through the motions with Umbrella Chronicles

JoystiqZero Punctuation goes through the motions with Umbrella Chronicles originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>capcomescapistreresident-evil-umbrella-chroniclesresidentevilumbrellachroniclestheescapistWiiyahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 30 Jan 2008 18:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation causes 'Crysis' with vaguely positive review]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/01/16/zero-punctuation-causes-crysis-with-positive-review/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/01/16/zero-punctuation-causes-crysis-with-positive-review/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/01/16/zero-punctuation-causes-crysis-with-positive-review/#commentsFiled under: ,


Not since the Orange Box review has Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee spoken so highly of a game as he does this week about Crysis. And by "so highly" we mean he hates it slightly less than usual and barely manages a recommendation of it.

Yahtzee was certainly enamored with how pretty Crysis is, going so far as saying if the game were personified and in a male prison it would probably have it pretty rough -- well, unless the first-person shooter was into that sort of thing. Speaking of "that sort of thing," he does mention that your high-end PC may not be able to sit for a couple days given the PC parts needed to get it running at its very best.

Anyway, check out this week's NSFW review of Crysis after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation causes 'Crysis' with vaguely positive review

JoystiqZero Punctuation causes 'Crysis' with vaguely positive review originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 16 Jan 2008 19:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>crysisescapistPCtheescapistyahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 16 Jan 2008 19:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation visits Silent Hill's origins and dies inside]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/01/09/zero-punctuation-visits-silent-hills-origins-and-dies-inside/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/01/09/zero-punctuation-visits-silent-hills-origins-and-dies-inside/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/01/09/zero-punctuation-visits-silent-hills-origins-and-dies-inside/#commentsFiled under: ,


Yahtzee's got a soft spot for the Silent Hill series, a soft spot that had a steel spike jammed through it during Silent Hill Origins. Believing that the game was nothing but a fan-service cash-in he declares the series dead after his experience with Origins and Silent Hill 4: The Room -- but he's leaving a spot in his blackened heart for redemption with Silent Hill 5. So prepare yourself for a four minute Zero Punctuation rant that even our resident Silent Hill fanboy declares, "Wow, that's one of [Yahtzee's] best yet!"

Find this week's NSFW trip to Silent Hill by Yahtzee after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation visits Silent Hill's origins and dies inside

JoystiqZero Punctuation visits Silent Hill's origins and dies inside originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 09 Jan 2008 15:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>escapistkonamiPSPsilent-hill-originstheescapistyahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 09 Jan 2008 15:30:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation review of Super Mario Galaxy confirms death wish]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2008/01/02/zero-punctuation-review-of-super-mario-galaxy-confirms-death-wis/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/01/02/zero-punctuation-review-of-super-mario-galaxy-confirms-death-wis/http://www.joystiq.com/2008/01/02/zero-punctuation-review-of-super-mario-galaxy-confirms-death-wis/#commentsFiled under: ,


Yahtzee has said before he's not all too happy with Nintendo's formulaic habits during his Phantom Hourglass review and now cements it with his take on Super Mario Galaxy. It also cements that his bunker in Uluru better be well fortified with an army made up of the other eight Mario-haters on the planet because the Nintendo Defense Force ... they're coming.

He pretty much beats on Super Mario Galaxy for being, well, a Mario game. There's also a tangent about how Mario and Bowser's relationship has become a bit awkward: even though they fight from time to time, they also do social activities like go racing together and play tennis. Just a bit strange when your arch-nemesis is the guy you play doubles with.

Find this week's NSFW death wish edition of Zero Punctuation after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation review of Super Mario Galaxy confirms death wish

JoystiqZero Punctuation review of Super Mario Galaxy confirms death wish originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 02 Jan 2008 14:45:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>escapistsuper-mario-galaxythe-escapistWiiyahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 02 Jan 2008 14:45:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation affected by Mass Effect's verbiage]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2007/12/19/zero-punctuation-affected-by-mass-effects-verbiage/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/12/19/zero-punctuation-affected-by-mass-effects-verbiage/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/12/19/zero-punctuation-affected-by-mass-effects-verbiage/#commentsFiled under: ,


Yahtzee delves into the interstellar drama of Mass Effect this week and walks away with the same issues as many others, but explains it in a way that only the British expatriate can. We already know Yahtzee doesn't like America very much, so we'll take it as a back-handed compliment that he doesn't mind listening to all the North American accents in Mass Effect as compared to Wookies grunt groan bellowing (what do Wookies do?) through Knights of the Old Republic. As his issue with Mass Effect lies in its wealth of dialog and text, we'll just end this post now.

Find this week's NSFW dose of Zero Punctuation after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation affected by Mass Effect's verbiage

JoystiqZero Punctuation affected by Mass Effect's verbiage originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 19 Dec 2007 19:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>escapistmasseffectXbox-360yahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 19 Dec 2007 19:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation wails on Guitar Hero III]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2007/12/12/zero-punctuation-wails-on-guitar-hero-iii/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/12/12/zero-punctuation-wails-on-guitar-hero-iii/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/12/12/zero-punctuation-wails-on-guitar-hero-iii/#commentsFiled under: , , ,


Yahtzee puts in plain speak during the latest Zero Punctuation review that Guitar Hero III is when the Guitar Hero series stopped being fun. Because you see, there's this wall that players hit and the game becomes impossible. Yahtzee doesn't want to hear it -- and neither do we -- if you're the only guy in your village who beat everything backward and forward. You aren't average, normal, or in any way a part of the natural order of sheep that make up the population of our little planet. Also, in this very special episode of Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee puts questions about his sexuality to rest.

Find your weekly dose of (NSFW) unhinged rage after the break.

[Thanks Mromson]

Continue reading Zero Punctuation wails on Guitar Hero III

JoystiqZero Punctuation wails on Guitar Hero III originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 12 Dec 2007 14:55:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>escapistgh3ghiiiguitar-heroPS3WiiXbox-360yahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 12 Dec 2007 14:55:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation spares the life of Assassin's Creed]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2007/12/05/zero-punctuation-spares-the-life-of-assassins-creed/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/12/05/zero-punctuation-spares-the-life-of-assassins-creed/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/12/05/zero-punctuation-spares-the-life-of-assassins-creed/#commentsFiled under: , ,


This week, rapid-fire ranter Yahtzee turns his verbal assassination skills on a game with a matching murderous motif, Assassin's Creed. Though Ubisoft's expansive bump-off sim has divided gamers and critics alike, Yahtzee picks a clear side by the end of this Zero Punctuation episode -- and it's not the one you might expect. Though he didn't approve of the combat or "wordy" dialogue (watch out, Mass Effect), it seems the Prince of Persia-esque platforming and non-linear "faffing about" convinced the man with the sweet hat to give the game an overall thumbs up.

Didn't see that coming, did you? Find the (NSFW) video proof after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation spares the life of Assassin's Creed

JoystiqZero Punctuation spares the life of Assassin's Creed originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 05 Dec 2007 19:38:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>AssassinsCreedEscapistPS3UbisoftXbox-360YahtzeeZero-PunctuationZeroPunctuationWed, 05 Dec 2007 19:38:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation boos F.E.A.R. expansion]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2007/11/28/zero-punctuation-boos-f-e-a-r-expansion/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/11/28/zero-punctuation-boos-f-e-a-r-expansion/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/11/28/zero-punctuation-boos-f-e-a-r-expansion/#commentsFiled under: ,

Having traipsed through the corridors of Valve's American headquarters, Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee is notably unimpressed with the assignment greeting him upon his return. More creepy corridors, this time found in "uninformatively" titled F.E.A.R. expansion, Perseus Mandate. While he appreciates the infrequent mind-bending sequences (they're rather scares, you see), Yahtzee can't wrap his brain around the developer's constant recycling of environments and combat. As usual, hidden within the rapid-fire rants and elaborately constructed metaphors lies an astute observation -- how is this game supposed to be scary if your character's running around with a bloody bazooka?

Check out the video after the break... and note the special threat message left for last week's Zero Punctuation imitator.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation boos F.E.A.R. expansion

JoystiqZero Punctuation boos F.E.A.R. expansion originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 28 Nov 2007 22:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>Day-1-StudiosEscapistFEARFEAR-First-Encounter-Assault-ReconFPSMonolithMonolith-ProductionsPCVivendi-UniversalYahtzeeZero-PunctuationZeroPunctuationWed, 28 Nov 2007 22:30:00 EST<![CDATA['Some Punctuation' riffs on Yahtzee's Art of Theft]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2007/11/26/some-punctuation-riffs-on-yahtzees-art-of-theft/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/11/26/some-punctuation-riffs-on-yahtzees-art-of-theft/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/11/26/some-punctuation-riffs-on-yahtzees-art-of-theft/#commentsFiled under: ,


Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, illegitimate love child of Eddie Izzard and Six from Blossom, is apparently on a week long sabbatical from tearing popular games a new one. He's spending his time off touring the offices of Valve, who enjoyed his recent review of The Orange Box. However, we're jonesing for our Zero Punctuation fix. We get cranky when we don't hear those rapid-fire quips, that sophisticated inflection, that finely-tuned profanity.

Luckily, a YouTuber using the pseudonym "Some Punctuation" (we see what you did there) has done his own Yahtzee-esque review of, appropriately enough, Croshaw's latest indie title, TRILBY: Art of Theft. While he lacks the vocal deftness and charming accent of the real deal, he's got the visuals and sarcasm down pat. It's a decent placekeeper for the weekly lambasting, but we'll have to wait until Wednesday to truly fill that Yahtzee-sized hole in our hearts.

Joystiq'Some Punctuation' riffs on Yahtzee's Art of Theft originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 26 Nov 2007 08:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>Art-Of-TheftPCSomePunctuationZero-PunctuationZeroPunctuationMon, 26 Nov 2007 08:00:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation hates Jericho]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2007/11/14/zero-punctuation-hates-jericho/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/11/14/zero-punctuation-hates-jericho/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/11/14/zero-punctuation-hates-jericho/#commentsFiled under: , , ,


This week on Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee travels back to the time when our game selection was much slimmer and hates on Clive Barker's Jericho. It's worth noting that even a month later the spread on reviews for Jericho is still quite impressive. Yahtzee complains about the colors, design and just the overall product that has rekindled his hatred after weeks of ho-hum blood lust. Let's see if The Escapist can stop sending Yahtzee games by carrier pigeon to Australia and get him some games from the deluge we currently find ourselves in.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation hates Jericho

JoystiqZero Punctuation hates Jericho originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 14 Nov 2007 17:25:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>escapistjerichoPCPS3theescapistXbox-360yahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 14 Nov 2007 17:25:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation hates on Zelda: Phantom Hourglass]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2007/11/07/zero-punctuation-hates-on-zelda-phantom-hourglass/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/11/07/zero-punctuation-hates-on-zelda-phantom-hourglass/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/11/07/zero-punctuation-hates-on-zelda-phantom-hourglass/#commentsFiled under: ,


This week on Zero Punctuation, the ornery Yahtzee puts into video form (after the break) the same basic ideas discussed on the last Joystiq podcast regarding Zelda: Phantom Hourglass. Luckily for Yahtzee, he's embedded in Uluru and need not fear reprisals like most members of the gaming press do when speaking ill of Zelda.

Everything he says about the Zelda franchise and Nintendo has pretty much been said before, just not in a sexy, angry, British accent using a grab-bag of verbs and adjectives. The real kudos (you know, for people who don't fear for their life) come at the end of the piece when he implies that the next time Nintendo wants to make another Zelda... they should just make Okami.

[Thanks Sam]

Continue reading Zero Punctuation hates on Zelda: Phantom Hourglass

JoystiqZero Punctuation hates on Zelda: Phantom Hourglass originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 07 Nov 2007 15:22:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>DSescapistlegend-of-zeldaphantom-hourglassphantomhourglassyahtzeezeldazero-punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 07 Nov 2007 15:22:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation takes on Medal of Honor and America]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2007/10/31/zero-punctuation-takes-on-medal-of-honor-and-america/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/10/31/zero-punctuation-takes-on-medal-of-honor-and-america/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/10/31/zero-punctuation-takes-on-medal-of-honor-and-america/#commentsFiled under: ,


If you're an American and have absolutely no idea how the rest of the world views us, then you'll be getting a rude awakening in the Zero Punctuation review of Medal of Honor Airborne (found after the break). In the latest ZP review Yahtzee tangents quite strongly into some anti-American sentiment (a term used for people against war) before getting around to the game, which he considers to be overly patriotic (skewing Americans, as the Brits seem to be missing). As the Medal of Honor series digs for more material it seems to have gotten progressively historically inaccurate. Yahtzee wasn't too cool with the accuracy of the gas mask stormtroopers and says, "I wouldn't have been too phased if Hitler appeared riding a giant robot spider."

[Thanks Sam]

Continue reading Zero Punctuation takes on Medal of Honor and America

JoystiqZero Punctuation takes on Medal of Honor and America originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 31 Oct 2007 20:15:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>escapistPCyahtzeezeropunctuationWed, 31 Oct 2007 20:15:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation irons out Super Paper Mario]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2007/10/24/zero-punctuation-irons-out-super-paper-mario/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/10/24/zero-punctuation-irons-out-super-paper-mario/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/10/24/zero-punctuation-irons-out-super-paper-mario/#commentsFiled under:


This week the British-born Yahtzee, who harnesses his rage on the outskirts of Brisbane, Australia, takes on Super Paper Mario. Yes, he knows it's old, but apparently the Australians just got it. So, for many, this will be like a review down memory lane -- as others relive their own issues with the title.

Does Yahtzee like the "new" Paper Mario? You can find out for yourself after the break, but we'll tell you he liked the old ones better. Considering the Wii is fully backwards compatible with the Gamecube, it's worth reminding newcomers to the series of the excellent Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door. It's not much of a step backwards in graphics and the gameplay is as good as ever.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation irons out Super Paper Mario

JoystiqZero Punctuation irons out Super Paper Mario originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 24 Oct 2007 16:55:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>escapistWiiyahtzeezero punctuationzeropunctuationWed, 24 Oct 2007 16:55:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation likes Orange Box, but loves Portal]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2007/10/17/zero-punctuation-likes-orange-box-but-loves-portal/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/10/17/zero-punctuation-likes-orange-box-but-loves-portal/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/10/17/zero-punctuation-likes-orange-box-but-loves-portal/#commentsFiled under: ,


We've gotten used to the saucy Brit named Yahtzee hating whatever he reviews in his Zero Punctuation pieces for the Escapist; so imagine our surprise when a little ray of sunshine crept into the latest video (found after the break). This week Yahtzee tackles The Orange Box and generally seems dismissive of the whole thing -- except for Portal, which he loves. Yes, even ornery Yahtzee has sold out and is having a love-fest with the game, just like many on the Joystiq staff.

Regarding Portal, the typically acid tongued Yahtzee says, "[Portal is] the most fun you'll have with your PC until they invent a force feedback codpiece." The Orange Box seems to have a little something for everyone, even for people like Yahtzee. Now how long will it be before the Portal theme song becomes a spontaneous geek sing-along anthem at every gaming convention?

Continue reading Zero Punctuation likes Orange Box, but loves Portal

JoystiqZero Punctuation likes Orange Box, but loves Portal originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 17 Oct 2007 16:24:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>halflife2orangeboxPCportalteamfortress2theorangeboxXbox-360yahtzeezeropunctuationWed, 17 Oct 2007 16:24:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation hates on Tabula Rasa]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2007/10/11/zero-punctuation-hates-on-tabula-rasa/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/10/11/zero-punctuation-hates-on-tabula-rasa/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/10/11/zero-punctuation-hates-on-tabula-rasa/#commentsFiled under:


If you've been paying attention to the Escapist's Zero Punctuation reviews, then you've caught on that the whole point is to listen to some British guy hate on a game for a few minutes (the exception being the Psychonauts review where he just hates on people who didn't buy it). The latest review from "Yahtzee" has him hating on Tabula Rasa. As Americans (or, at least, Escapist editors) seem to love listening to British accents getting all uppity and nit-pick on things in absurdest Monty Python-esque statements, this Tabula Rasa review (found after the break) is another entertaining stroll of Yahtzee's breathless rage.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation hates on Tabula Rasa

JoystiqZero Punctuation hates on Tabula Rasa originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 11 Oct 2007 18:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>escapistescapistmagazinegarriottPCreviewstabula-rasatabularasayahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationThu, 11 Oct 2007 18:30:00 EST<![CDATA[Zero Punctuation reviews Halo 3, hates it]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2007/10/04/zero-punctuation-reviews-halo-3-hates-it/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/10/04/zero-punctuation-reviews-halo-3-hates-it/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/10/04/zero-punctuation-reviews-halo-3-hates-it/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

Continuing a tradition of throwing spitefully negative reviews in the face of overwhelmingly positive reception, The Escapist's angry video-reviewer Yahtzee has turned his sights on Bungie's Halo 3 -- and you better believe that it's enough to make the Sony and Nintendo Defense Forces blush.

Yahtzee's spitting-mad review might be in part a reaction to the high demand for it; he proudly admits to having had no intention of reviewing the megaton first-person shooter until an inordinate number of requests -- and his editor -- forced him to. Still, it's always refreshing to hear unabashedly critical reactions to a game that's largely been walking on water.

Catch the carnage after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation reviews Halo 3, hates it

JoystiqZero Punctuation reviews Halo 3, hates it originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 04 Oct 2007 04:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>343-IndustriesbungieBungie-Studiosescapist-magazineescapistmagazineFPShalohalo-3halo3MicrosoftMicrosoft-Game-StudiosndfreviewssdfXbox-360yahtzeezero-punctuationzeropunctuationThu, 04 Oct 2007 04:30:00 EST<![CDATA[BioShock gets the Zero Punctuation treatment]]>http://www.joystiq.com/2007/09/06/bioshock-gets-the-zero-punctuation-treatment/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/09/06/bioshock-gets-the-zero-punctuation-treatment/http://www.joystiq.com/2007/09/06/bioshock-gets-the-zero-punctuation-treatment/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Man, are we sick and tired of the cavalcade of praise being heaped on BioShock. "You will never look at a blah blah blah the same way again." "It's one of those monumental blah blah you'll never forget." OK, OK, we get it, the game's amazing. But surely it must have some flaws, right?

Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw sure thinks so. He goes off on the game in his own inimitable web video style in the Escapist's latest Zero Punctuation feature. While Croshaw thinks that the game is overall pretty good, he points out some flaws that tend to get glossed over in the media lovefest. Among the major gripes:
  • Familiarity -- While inspiration is one thing, Croshaw argues that BioShock "isn't like System Shock 2, it is System Shock 2" only "everything that was cyberpunk then is steampunk now."
  • It's way too easy -- "You trip over ammo, money and medkits" and "dying is a momentary annoyance" with all the free vita-chambers strewn about.
  • The moral choices aren't very interesting -- The controversial decision to save or harvest the creepy Little Sisters pretty much becomes a choice between "Mother Teresa or baby eating," with nothing in between.
Despite all the bellyaching, Croshaw still admires BioShock for it's looks, writing, atmosphere and imagination, even going so far as to say it's "probably one of the best games of the year." Blah blah blah. Check out the video after the break.

Continue reading BioShock gets the Zero Punctuation treatment

JoystiqBioShock gets the Zero Punctuation treatment originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 06 Sep 2007 19:55:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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