What makes a fanboy tick?

by Blake Snow { Aug 8th 2006 at 4:55PM }

Though we hate to give the direct topic added exposure (read: fuel), Aeropause has a satirical piece on the anatomy of a fanboy, or in other words, what makes him tick. From the article: "[Fanboys] possess a complete lack of reasoning. Being reasonable would kill every argument that they make and they would not be able to exist. Thus the lack of reasonability is a natural step in their evolution. Darwinism at work!"

The author goes on to say that there is nothing wrong in supporting a certain platform, rather that the "spreading of lies and false information" leads to kids making misinformed platform choices based on biased opinions that are "horribly wrong." The anti-fanboy. Do it for the kids!

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

reguy @ Aug 8th 2006 5:02PM

I think the ninty fanboys got the short end of the stick, look at their fanboy! LOL
Yes the xbox guy looks like a retard but its still better than that Douche.

*For the record i am not calling nintendo fans douchebags, unless they actually look like that. And if thats the case, they totally deserve it!*

T-Bag @ Aug 8th 2006 5:15PM

Who here really wouldn't want to watcha beheading video of that third guy?

tactics @ Aug 8th 2006 5:16PM

i think he looks cool.

i still love that picture of "Krazy" Ken with the gigantic ps3. i kinda wish it was actually that big... that would've been so hilarious.

-"superfan" tactics.

Tom @ Aug 8th 2006 5:19PM

I wonder if super fanboy Clint saw this article.

T-Bag @ Aug 8th 2006 5:20PM

Who wouldn't want to watch a beheading video of that third guy?

nick @ Aug 8th 2006 5:20PM

The funny thing is the Xbox fanboy is a photoshop creation (i.e., slap the Xbox logo over a swimmer?). The Nintendo fanboy on the otherhand DRESSED that way on purpose.

dsub @ Aug 8th 2006 5:22PM

as someone who is a fan of MS consoles (even though I still own a PS2 and GCN) my biggest pet-peeve is when someone makes the claim that XBOX and 360 have "no exclusive games worth buying other than halo". My usual reply to this is simple...NINJA GAIDEN. I also can't stand when people get real "creative" and refer to the 360 as the "XBOX 1.5". Other than that, I can swallow pretty much any other criticism people throw out.

One more thing though...Sony fanboys...you need to stop pretending that PS2's don't break. They do. I've had 3 die on me, and I know a whole slew of other people who are on at least there 2nd PS2 as well. I don't really hold that against Sony, but it's fanboys continue to be in denial of this, even though a class action lawsuit has been filed against sony for this issue, and sony settled outside of court. Yet they still continue to deny that this was an issue with faulty hardware. But for some reason I've got three PS2's that are worthless, and a N64, SNES, XBOX, GCN, NES, 3DO and Sega Genesis that are a hell of alot older or equally old that all still run fine. Not a faulty hardware issue? I think not.

Moogle @ Aug 8th 2006 5:27PM

Meh, his example fanboys are trying too hard.

Personally, I think fanboyism is just an facet of very intrinsic human traits. Everyone believes they are average and that they are reasonable. Thus they think most people agree with them. Anyone that disagrees must be unreasonable. (Thus why nobody screams 'fanboy' louder than another fanboy, it takes one to know one).

This just compounds itself when you believe people that tell you what you already believe, and ignore people as being loons when they submit alternative viewpoints. Furthermore, the more unreasonable the opposition's arguments, the more the person feels justified that they're right. Everytime a fanboy of one system says something stupid (like 'kiddy', 'expensive', '1.5', etc), it just makes their oponents bigger fanboys. You make your enemy stronger the more you defend your side.

If you want an example of the biggest fanboys in the world, look no farther than Capitol Hill. It's not just little kids who suffer these tendancies. Human nature just seems destined to split itself into camps. Each person in isolation would acknowledge the merits of all sides, but when they're trying to be right in a society, they join which ever faction matches them a little, and adopt the rest. In the end, they just end up arguing about pointless issues.

Price, graphical power, and innovative controls don't matter compaired to 'fun', and no platform has a monopoly on that.

(Except Nintendo, because MS sucks! *grin* kidding)

El Hajjish @ Aug 8th 2006 5:37PM

I've always found it interesting that fanboys spend so much time attacking eachother in forums when they could be playing the games they like so much.

Also, I'm a borderline Nintendo fanboy. Enough to hang on Nintendo's every word, but not enough to disregard every other non-Nintendo system or game (ie: Wii at launch, maybe 360 someday, and/or possibly a PS3 towards the end of its life when I can enjoy a lower price point and a pile of PS3 Greatest Hits and I actially have an HDTV).

...except the PSP! DS all the way! :-P

cringer8 @ Aug 8th 2006 5:51PM

The best part of a fanboy is his/her belief that the company they support cannot make mistakes.

That is about as unreasonable as you can get.

Hey Joystiq, maybe you can add a supplement to the "star" system. If you notice a user is a blatant fanboy, you should replace the star with an icon of the company they blindly support. Then, when we're scanning through comments, we can ignore anything they have to say.

machewchew @ Aug 8th 2006 5:58PM

Is it just me or is this piece not very funny?

Loque @ Aug 8th 2006 6:02PM

Sega fanboy FTW. One of the last of my kind.

Anyone want to sell me a saturn or 32x?

1up_clock @ Aug 8th 2006 6:06PM

"my biggest pet-peeve is when someone makes the claim that XBOX and 360 have "no exclusive games worth buying other than halo". My usual reply to this is simple...NINJA GAIDEN."

I think they want a game that WON'T have you throwing your controller in pure rage. :]

1up_clock @ Aug 8th 2006 6:13PM

Mike (Sony) “I look down on those who would judge something they don’t understand. What kind of idiot would do something like that?”

Ironic comic gold.

ipodfanboy @ Aug 8th 2006 6:14PM

Well im an apple fanboy, but when it comes to gaming im somewere stuck inbetween nintendo or microsofts camps. I know too many people that have broken ps2s and brag about silly EA games that are well suited for the casual gamer like madden, thats why i choose not to be a playstation fanboy.

NES @ Aug 8th 2006 6:25PM

12 NINJA BLACK!!!Yea xbox had great games not to mention in game music and hd saves and quick loads.....OH yea Ill never forget this 1st time i played ESPN 2k5 and got to the halftime show with chris berman and it did and actual recap (yes they had REAL replays) then realizing no other system had this because of no hard drive. I remember when forza PWNED GT4 with customization and real damage physics and oh yea ONLINE...Im a MS fan simply because they IMO appear to care about gamers....they actually(1st controller suck quickly changed during console(Which no one has done because of hate mail) to the controller S. I dont like RPGS but we had KOTOR that sold multi millions and was game of the year. Mech assult, DOa. The way i see it they lost money to put me closer to pc gaming that any console has ever been...So like i said seems to me that they care about the gamer.....When they decide not to listen anymore then im on to the next console

metayoshi @ Aug 8th 2006 6:38PM

dsub: "I also can't stand when people get real 'creative' and refer to the 360 as the 'XBOX 1.5'"

SAME HERE. Do people actually read the specs? Knowing basic math, I'm pretty sure that a 3.2 GHz dual core processor (360) is much more that 1.5x a 733 MHz processor (Xbox) and a 500 MHz GPU (360) is more than 1.5x of a 233 MHz processor (Xbox).

The Wii is closer to 1.5x a Gamecube (around 2x based on speculated CPU and GPU) than an Xbox 360 is to an Xbox (between 8-10x based on CPU and a little more than 2x based on GPU). To all those people calling the 360 an Xbox 1.5 and getting a Wii... Shame on you.

arrakisman @ Aug 8th 2006 6:48PM

Loque,
No Saturn or 32X, but I have nomad w/ PS4 that I would sell. ;)

Dr.Swiss @ Aug 8th 2006 6:48PM

@ NES (post 16)

Say what?

Supra @ Aug 8th 2006 6:57PM

Xbox 1.5, now with better graphics!

EnderMB @ Aug 8th 2006 7:15PM

What makes them tick?

Probably the lack of sex, past, present and future.

cringer8 @ Aug 8th 2006 7:57PM

I just HAD to point this out...

This post is sandwiched between two posts where *ultimate* fanboyism is going down (the "PS2 Greatest Hits additions" and "Xbox 360 add-on drive").

It just made me laugh a bit, thought I'd share.

Alcoholic Zombie @ Aug 8th 2006 8:13PM

They should round up all of the fanboys in a room and shoot them. I said this once and I will say it again...

Don't be a fan of a console, be a fan of gaming.

Mitchell @ Aug 8th 2006 8:25PM

lol... that giant PS3. You know, when i make an investment in buying a video system I like to feel that I made the best choice. I spend over $200 for my DS Lite + games. It's a defense mechanism to say that the PSP sucks and DS is better.

V1L3 @ Aug 8th 2006 8:52PM

I was with him up until "Every kind of gaming device out there deserves respect, yes even the NGAGE." :P

I was expecting to see the comparison made in the article, but as it wasn't, I guess I'll have to be the one to make it.

This is NOT something unique to the world of video games. You'll find the same ludicrous, biased comments coming from supporters of their favorite sports team, car (Holden vs Ford, etc), movie (Star Trek vs Babylon 5, etc), music, and so on and so forth.

In a lot of those cases, the rivalry is actually pretty good-natured... You make ridiculous comments about the other person's team, knowing full well that you're talking out of your rear end.

I've always been a Sega fanboy, but in that same vein, especially during the SNES-Mega Drive days. I used to make cracks about Nintendo, but in the same way that you'd rib a younger brother. It never stopped me from renting/buying/borrowing a Nintendo console to play the truly great games (Mario 64, Ocarina of Time, etc).

Just because KFC is your favorite fast-food place, does that mean you're going to deprive yourself of eating Pizza Hutt or McDonalds ever again? Much less mock those who do?

I think the key difference here is that video game fanboys (as opposed to fans of rival sport teams) congregate primarily on the internet, which, as we all know, is hardly the most congenial place on earth. The anonymity and consequence-free environment causes people (especially kids) to let loose in irrational and insulting tirades that they'd never dare do face-to-face, either out of fear of revealing their bias and ignorance, or of having their prized console's game controller inserted in their rear expansion slot.

I guess the best news for the rest of us is that fanboys are SO easy to pick out. They can't go more than a few lines without launching an unprovoked attack on the competition before expounding the virtues (either real or imagined) of their beloved company and/or console of choice.

Because, y'know, if they can't convince us that they made the right choice, then they can't convince themselves, and then their whole belief system might come crashing down around them.

It'd be like your parents telling you Santa Claus wasn't real. Hah! The very thought....

dubdub @ Aug 8th 2006 9:27PM

If the PS3 was actually that big I'd buy one for a thousand bucks...

Bob @ Aug 8th 2006 10:51PM

You know... Fanboyism is like going to the zoo. Its fun to go and watch the animals, but you don't actually want to be in the cage with them.

Pal @ Aug 8th 2006 10:53PM

It's like politics on a much, much smaller scale. A fanboy is basically the extremist in politics, only saying what they want and does not listen to other's opinions. Nothing can change their mind and only their voice enters their ear; in other words, they are ignorant.

Huzzah!! @ Aug 8th 2006 11:35PM

LOL! Was that PS3 pic real! Sony just went up one notch on the "funny" chart! (PLEASE dont ask me what that means...)

Sami @ Aug 9th 2006 2:35AM

That article was horrible. It actually contributed nothing to the issue, and it's impossible to deduce whether the article is poking fun at fanboys or itself. Even if the idea is good, some things are just not worth the link if the execution is poor.

Rare Hare @ Aug 9th 2006 3:52AM

"Just because KFC is your favorite fast-food place, does that mean you're going to deprive yourself of eating Pizza Hutt or McDonalds ever again? Much less mock those who do?"

Interestingly enough, V1L3, I know people who do this with Taco Bell. I had never thought of it quite that way until you brought it up, but yes... I know actual Taco Bell fanboys.

johnny @ Aug 9th 2006 6:24AM

fanboy, psychological explanation.

when you make a choice, say to buy a console, you do that with some personal conviction. that is you "believe" that buying this or that console is right thing to do. when someone else comes along and says that another console is better than the one you bought, for a fanboy this does not imply a surficial comparison between the two systems (say in terms of memory, or whatever), but for a fanboy this is a straight attack on their ability to make decisions. So in fact saying to a xbox fanboy that the ps3 is better is felt like a personal attack on their ability to choose the best console. if you furthermore assume that fanboys are uncertain in their decisions, you can imagine that such a personal attack can evoke quite explosive reactions.

so fanboys are probably very uncertain about the choice they made and feel *personally* attacked when someone disagrees with their choice in console. this makes them seem unrational in their defense...