LAN Party Massacre: yep, it's another video game movie

by Andrew Yoon { Aug 7th 2008 at 8:15PM }

A Fred Savage film this is not. At the very least, LAN Party Massacre is living up to the one key tradition of the video game movie "genre" -- it looks terrible. But really, would we want it any other way?

The unadulterated synopsis, seriously:

"LAN Party Massacre is a comedy/horror slasher film currently in pre-production under Creatively Bankrupt Productions. Set in the modern-day United States, the film is a direct parody of Video game culture, while at its heart a classic Slasher film. The F5 Energy Drink company sponsors a LAN party Tournament, inviting top gamers from across the nation to compete for a major cash prize and a chance to defeat acclaimed professional gamer (and F5 patsy) 'MORT@L1TY.' Hardcore players, bloggers, shut-ins, cosplayers, and gamers from every walk of life come to witness the event. However, when a gamer pushed too far into the virtual world of killing begins to hunt the other attendees, his body count far surpasses his score. Through a keen blend of absurd humor, clever video game references, notable video game celebrity cameos, as well as lots of blood, creative deaths, and practical gore, LAN Party Massacre appeals to both gamers and horror film buffs alike."

Tags: creatively-bankrupt, lan-party-massacre, movie

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

harusame @ Aug 7th 2008 8:26PM

That Power Glove is really bad

LocalToast @ Aug 7th 2008 11:09PM

He touched my breast!

The_Punisher @ Aug 7th 2008 8:26PM

Yes, yes we would. Something GOOD would be nice (Hitman wasn't half bad).

klepto88 @ Aug 7th 2008 8:27PM

You have to admit it... F5 energy drink is pretty darn clever.

Cannonater @ Aug 7th 2008 8:39PM

Agreed.

KEFIOX @ Aug 7th 2008 9:49PM

Pwn your thirst.

Averna @ Aug 7th 2008 9:54PM

Aye! The geekiest energy drink around :P Id buy it.

xtremuuuu @ Aug 8th 2008 12:10AM

I was like, F5? Then they said "refreeeeesh" and it ALL made sense! Clever enough!

Ritz @ Aug 7th 2008 8:29PM

wth

Ritz @ Aug 7th 2008 8:30PM

Also, ..."creatively-bankrupt"?

Saria the Cat @ Aug 7th 2008 8:57PM

More like "Creativity Bankrupt'd!" amirite?!

PS36Wii Fanboy @ Aug 7th 2008 8:43PM

*Spoiler Alert*

The killer is Mario.

PS36Wii Fanboy @ Aug 7th 2008 8:42PM

*Spoiler*

The killer is Mario, for some reason he just jealous Mario:Quake edition, never released

Boom! @ Aug 7th 2008 8:37PM

http://tinyurl.com/68uwh9

Boom! @ Aug 7th 2008 8:39PM

Darn lack of edit feature.

That would be the most awesome poster for this movie. =3

Magetto @ Aug 7th 2008 8:37PM

ಠ_ಠ

PS36Wii Fanboy @ Aug 7th 2008 8:44PM

lol oops sry thought the first one did not get through

Luke @ Aug 8th 2008 12:39AM

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/local_idiot_to_post_comment_on

Metal Gear!? @ Aug 7th 2008 8:51PM

Uh-oh, IT HAS BEGUN! Shao Kahn is at it again. It's a Mortal Kombat tournament in which, instead of fighting, you actually play Mortal Kombat.

Metal Gear!? @ Aug 7th 2008 8:54PM

Also, why won't my freaking profile pic change?

Followmeok @ Aug 7th 2008 8:57PM

I want to see it. Terrible or not, the write up has me intrigued, and I am all over lampooning FATAL1TY.

Dovi @ Aug 7th 2008 11:27PM

Don't you mean MORT@L1TY?

Saria the Cat @ Aug 7th 2008 8:58PM

*shakes head sadly* Clearly no gamers worked on this movie.

Monkeydog @ Aug 8th 2008 4:20AM

Just a little bit of looking in on it proves that a gamer did work on this, or at least he's probably a gamer. Matthew Mercer is a writer, who has voiced a few video game characters and anime characters.

However...despite this, I must agree with you on the point that this looks like crud.(at least that's what I believe you were trying to convey.)