The Large Hadron Collider, a sixteen-mile long, seven story tall ring of death which straddles the border of Germany and Switzerland, will see to that. We're not exactly sure what it does, but we are fairly certain of a few things -- for instance, we know that despite its colossal size, it runs almost entirely on car batteries and hubris. We also know that it's the world's biggest particle collider, and that trying to shoot one particle into another from miles away is pretty difficult. Oh, also, we know that during its inaugural run this Wednesday, it's going to create a sustainable black hole that's going to devour mankind, the Milky Way galaxy, and Will.i.am.
Sure, the eight-thousand physicists that have worked on the project have assured mankind that the odds of that last event occuring are approximately one-in-a-thrillion -- but of course they would say that. We know the truth, and have already begun selling our automobiles, gaming systems, and houses to afford a sturdy craft that will carry us far from the gravity well's sinister reach. Unfortunately, we're pretty certain we bought a 1974 Gremlin wrapped in duct tape with a jumbo-size roman candle tucked into the tailpipe. We'll let you know how it works out for us.
- DS Lite: 56,439
444 (0.79%) - PSP: 41,664
5,940 (12.48%)- Wii: 35,755
582 (1.65%)- PS3: 9,775
755 (8.37%) - PS2: 8,810
390 (4.63%)- Xbox 360: 3,124
427 (12.02%)[Source: Media Create]
See: The Black Eyed archives
