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Kingdom Hearts 3D review: Dreams dropped

Nathan Grayson — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 16:30:00 EST

Growing up is weird. Where once things were simple, they quickly morph into a terrifying nightmare labyrinth of complexity. You've got bills to pay, billowing lists of day-to-day chores to attend to, legions of people to keep up with, and so very little time to make sure it all gets done. In that sense, growing up alongside Square's Kingdom Hearts series presents some eerie parallels. Many melodramatic heart-shaped moons ago, it was about three friends battling evil to keep each other safe. Sure, there was some romance, rivalry and Donald Duck along the way, but it was ultimately easy to follow and, frankly, heartfelt. Slowly but surely, though, the series added Keyblade Wars and shadowy Organizations and clones and 365/2 days and digitized worlds and... yeah. You get the idea.

But growing up doesn't just mean inheriting a world of convoluted complication. It's about, well, growing - changing, evolving and taking a measured, realistic look at your own flaws. And in that respect, Kingdom Hearts really hasn't grown up at all. Case in point: Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance. It isn't bad by any means. Rather, the spin-off with the goofiest name yet (though sadly, perhaps the least Goofy) is simply a mishmash of middling new ideas and the clunky, frustrating and otherwise upsetting bits that have polluted the series over the years.

Gallery: Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance (7/17/12)

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Kingdom Hearts 3D review: Dreams dropped originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 01 Aug 2012 16:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Inversion review: Gears of Snore

Nathan Grayson — Mon, 18 Jun 2012 17:00:00 EST

As a kid, there were only two things I truly loved: playing with a motley assembly of action figures, and reading Ender's Game. Inversion, somewhat implausibly, manages to combine Past Me's favorite pastimes. Its topsy-turvy, gravity-switching third-person shooting hearkens back to the portion of Ender's Game most ripe for a game spin-off: the Battle Room. In Inversion's best moments, the player and enemies alike float and dodge through the air, without a care in the world until a hail of bullets interrupts their physics-defying backstroke.

The rest of Inversion, though, feels like it was slapped together with all the focus of a child weaving nonsensical yarns in a sandbox. Interesting abilities get the cold shoulder in favor of an obnoxiously intrusive plot that unfolds without the slightest shred of adherence to logic or reason. Modern-day cops take on hulking, Mad-Max-wannabe tribal men because ... hell if I know.

It seems like the kind of story that would have emerged if Child Me ran out of police-themed figures and decided to break out WWE wrestlers to even the odds. And so, instead of taking its gravity mechanics to new heights, Inversion largely opts to make pew-pew explosion sounds with its mouth - resulting in a haphazard, hackneyed Gears of War clone that feels like it's made of pathetic, flimsy plastic.

Gallery: Inversion (Gamescom 2011)

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Inversion review: Gears of Snore originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 18 Jun 2012 17:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Legend of Grimrock review: Less is more

Nathan Grayson — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 13:00:00 EST

I think I have video game amnesia. Nowadays, I play something, watch the credits roll, and then involuntarily purge it from my memories. Admittedly, that's a bit odd, seeing as today's games are chock-full of lavish setpieces and retina-searing "water-cooler moments." Meanwhile, my childhood memories of the lo-fi Game Boy Dragon Quest games are still crystal clear. Legend of Grimrock reminded me why.

Much like those 8-bit bites of role-playing bliss, Grimrock leaves nearly everything to the imagination. Who are these four prisoners, what did they do to deserve this frequently fatal, square-by-square dungeon crawl, and why is one of them a minotaur? While there is a minimal overarching plot, I got to fill in those blanks moment-by-moment and really own my experience. With no overly chatty character nor long-winded cut-scene in sight, character motivations and interactions were mine to imagine.

In all things - plot, combat, and even the act of simply moving forward - Grimrock is refreshingly minimal, an extremely satisfying whole cobbled together from your every little "aha" puzzle-solving moment and "ahhh!" near-death experience.

Gallery: Legend of Grimrock

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Legend of Grimrock review: Less is more originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 27 Apr 2012 13:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Tales of Graces F review: Comfort food

Nathan Grayson — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 11:00:00 EST

When I was but a wee nerdling, I had an unhealthy obsession with Brian Jacques' Redwall book series. While other children frolicked in parks or used superior numbers to overwhelm prey or whatever normal children do, I dreamed of talking mouse-people and magic swords the size of thumbtacks. Over time, however, even Child-Me realized that I was basically being asked to pony up for slightly different spins on the same swords 'n' sorcery 'n' rodents-for-some-reason story. Same journey progression, same character archetypes, same pervasive message that badgers are the Best Animal, etc. But I read, like, 14 of the things, because they were comfortable -- the literary equivalent of a hug or that Snuggie no one knows you own.

Namco Bandai's Tales series hedges its bets on a taking up a similar role in the lives of its fans. Tales of Graces F doesn't reinvent any wheels or cure Japanese RPG characters of their tragic case of radioactive bedhead, but it's an especially strong showing from a series that knows how to make you instantly feel right at home.

Gallery: Tales of Graces F (3/15/12)

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Tales of Graces F review: Comfort food originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 16 Mar 2012 11:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Dissidia 012 [duodecim] Final Fantasy review: A tale of souls and buster swords, eternally retold

Nathan Grayson — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 18:10:00 EST

As far as lumbering, big-budget franchises go, Final Fantasy's a bit of an anomaly. Yes, yes, the giant swords, giant-er hair styles, and comparatively small horse birds contribute to that, but indulge me for a moment while I discuss business trends.

In an ocean of same-y sequels where all the major players seem content to tread water, Final Fantasy's willingness to regularly reinvent itself is pretty damn impressive. Well, when it comes to the main series, anyway. Spin-offs, it seems, don't count - at least, if Dissidia 012 [duodecim] Final Fantasy is any indication. So, remember all that intense love/hatred/apathy you felt toward the original Dissidia? That's pretty much what you'll be getting here as well.

Gallery: Dissidia 012 [duodecim] Final Fantasy (2/8/2011)

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Dissidia 012 [duodecim] Final Fantasy review: A tale of souls and buster swords, eternally retold originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 01 Apr 2011 18:10:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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