Crap of Defense -- in spite of declaring itself to be the "worst game ever" -- is making the jump to pretty much every platform out there. Like the PSP version, the game is being re-branded as Paper Wars: Cannon Fodder, but will (presumably) feature the same sloppily drawn visuals and rather cheap-sounding audio. Like Angry Birds, this game simply cannot be contained by the iPhone.

Already available as a PSN Mini in Europe, the ESRB has rated additional versions of the game for DSi, Wii, Xbox 360 and PC. Considering the simplicity of the game, we're unsurprised by how quickly the developer has been able to make so many ports. Watch the distressingly cheap trailer for the iPhone original after the break.

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"Will you die a pawn or reign as king?" the latest Battle vs. Chess trailer asks. We have an even easier question to ask: will you watch this new trailer? It's as simple as clicking past the break.

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The sun will rise, the moon will set and it would be a sign of the end days if Madden didn't rule August software sales in the United States. The August NPDs are out and Madden NFL 11 sold over 1.8 million units in the month, a six percent increase over last year, with significant increases on PS3. Mafia 2, which Take-Two expects to be profitable, entered with a badda-boom and appears to have sold around 200K units during the month -- the title has been a chart topper in the UK since launch.

The Xbox 360 remains the top-selling console for a second month, but its sales did drop nearly 20 percent from July. The only hardware to see sales gains during the month was the PlayStation 3, which according to the NPD has now seen 13 consecutive months of year-over-year sales increases.

Overall, hardware and software sales were down both year-over-year and year-to-date. Sales for hardware, software and accessories combined was down 10 percent to $818.9M from last year and down 8 percent year-to-date to $8.31 billion. Consoles tried to make up for the sagging handheld market, as NPD analyst Anita Frazier notes, "The 360 and PS3 platforms both grew in dollar sales versus last year. In fact, the 360 platform contributed more than 1/3 of total new physical retail sales across hardware, software and accessories while the PS3 platform contributed over 1/4 of total dollar sales."

Oh yeah, one more thing: the top ten list of titles after the break only charts console and portable SKUs, so it's worth mentioning StarCraft 2 sold another 300K units in August, which would make it the second best-selling game for the month... if it were factored in. Frazer also stated, "PC games retail dollar sales saw a 35% increase over last August."

• 360: 357K, down 83K (-19.7%)
• DS: 343K, down 55.3K (-13.9%)
• Wii: 244K, down 9.7K (-3.8%)
• PS3: 226K, up 11K (5.1%)
• PSP: 79K, down 4.6K (-5.5%)

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A lot of these anniversary posts are fairly cursory, but this one genuinely makes us feel pretty old. Fifteen years ago on this day, Sony gave North America the system that ushered in the modern era of console gaming: the PlayStation. We thought that this might be a fun opportunity to share some of your favorite memories of the Old Gray Play-dy, whether it be the first time you stunned monkeys in Ape Escape, creating carnage in Twisted Metal or shouting "You gotta believe!" along with PaRappa the Rapper.

Happy birthday, big guy. Thanks for everything.

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In what can only be described as a triumph of understatement, PlayStation boss Kaz Hirai has admitted to MCV that the $250 pricing could "perhaps" be blamed for the PSP Go's unimpressive sales thus far. "I think we need to make sure we have as many titles available to download as possible, to make the experience as easy as possible. But also pricing is perhaps an issue. Because of the cost reductions we've been able to do over the years, the traditional PSP has benefited. But the PSP Go is a completely different design, so the cost trend is different." To put it another way, when Sony took out the part that makes it play all the PSP games you already own, it made it very expensive. Or to put it even simpler: They only hit you because they love you so much.

If Sony really wanted to capture the situation, it'd make an ad where Kevin Butler puts a PSP Go in a slingshot, fires it out a window at a passing explosion and says, "Win some, lose some, I guess." We understand why this level of corporate honesty is not an option, but can we at least get something better than "perhaps"? Like ... say ... a price cut?

Atlus has good news and bad news for players looking forward to Knights in the Nightmare, the upcoming strategy RPG-slash-bullet hell shooter getting ported to the PSP. We'll give you the bad news first, since that's usually the way to go: The game isn't coming out on October 19 as planned. Instead, you'll have to wait a few more weeks, as the release date has been moved back to November 9. We know, that probably ruins your pre-Halloween plans, but wait for the good news.

The good news is that Atlus is including a digital copy of Yggdra Union with the purchase of "each and every launch copy" of Knights in the Nightmare. You may not know all about the Dept. Heaven series, so keep in mind that these are the two episodes of the series continuing where Riviera: The Promised Land started out, all produced by Sting Entertainment. In essence, you'll get two obscure Japanese genre mashups for the price of just one. Aren't you glad we told you the bad news first?

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Despite its long list of problems, Gladiator Begins gets the most important thing right: beating, bashing and slicing dudes feels good. It's just as well, because that's the only thing this PSP game ever lets you do.

The premise is simple to a fault: You hop in a box with Roman slaves and then stab 'em until they're dead. That's it. For some, non-stop brawling makes for the best kind of action game; the beat-'em-up genre's survived on this kind of repetition. Gladiator even takes advantage of a handful of elements inspired by role-playing, which keeps things from getting stale too quickly.

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Square Enix just revealed in the latest issue of Shonen Jump (via Siliconera) that a sequel to Dissidia: Final Fantasy will arrive on Japanese PSPs sometime in 2011. Titled "Dissidia Duodecim: Final Fantasy," the new fighter was created specifically as a challenge to website copy editors.

Outside of FFIV's Kain and FFXIII's Lightning, no other playable characters have been confirmed. We get the feeling you'll see an expanded roster of fan-favorite brawlers at next week's Tokyo Game Show.

Coconut Dodge developer Futurlab is working on yet another game for the PlayStation Minis platform -- this time a space shooter. The studio already has a concept: mixing classic vertical shooting with a new teleporting gimmick; and it already has some music. What it needs now is a name. This is where you come in. Like PixelJunk Shooter, the developer is asking for your suggestions, awarding prizes for the best name ideas.

Of course, it's hard to name a game without knowing more about it. "In our shooter, there is a reason the world scrolls vertically, and a reason that you can't turn around," explains Futurlab, "everything is being sucked into a giant black hole!" Additionally, you'll be able to "save other people that are being sucked into the black hole" via your ship's unique teleporting ability. And ... well, that's all we know.

Hopefully, you can come up with something a bit more fitting than our suggestion -- COOKIESz.

We absolutely recognize that we should focus on the new PSN game, TerRover, this week, and acknowledge that Dragon Age: Origins' "Witch Hunt" DLC is now available, but we we can't help but take note of something down in the "themes" section. There's a "Hot for Teacher" premium theme available now for PSP and PS3. We have no idea what it is, but now we can't get that Van Halen video out of our heads.

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