Good news, Nintendo Defense Force -- the most powerful member of the British royal family just joined your ranks. According to The People, a weekly British tabloid, Queen Elizabeth II has been on a Wii Sports bender ever since her grandson, Prince William, received Nintendo's console for Christmas (or, for our friends reading this across the pond, the day before Boxing Day).

According to the rather journalistically unsound article, Her Majesty the "QWiiN" (sigh) is quite the gadget savvy monarch, owning an iPod, blackberry, and fully pimped-out mobile phone, so her interest in the Wii is not so unnatural. We wish the Queen the best of luck in finding her own system -- we hear those things are harder to find than ... wait, there's nothing harder to find than a Wii. Except two Wiis, we guess.

(Thanks to everyone who sent this in!)

Glancing at the newly revealed track listing for Elite Beat Agents instills some sort of inescapable fear of impending doom and cataclysm. There's every reason to suggest that lumping songs from Madonna, David Bowie, Chicago, Cher and Earth, Wind and Fire (ask your parents) onto a single storage medium could run the risk of melting the entire universe into an amorphous puddle of writhing pain. Oh, Ashlee Simpson's on there too. She usually has that effect all on her own.

Chris Kohler at Game|Life has scooped the entire song list for the upcoming DS game -- which, by the way, is the English spin-offy version of Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan!, a music-and-rhythm masterpiece made most memorable by its screen-tapping J-pop tunes, inspired humor and screaming male cheerleaders. Instead of trying to twist the game into a shape more suitable for the Western market, Elite Beat Agents aims to present the same gameplay (insidious spinners included), but with new scenarios, secret agents instead of cheerleaders, and different music. Different here having the definition of fruity and from a strange time.

Discovering how these "college frat party" songs (says the game's designer, Keiichi Yano) match up with the visuals and gameplay will no doubt amuse us to no end, especially when it comes to hits like Y.M.C.A., ABC and (gngghh) Sk8er Boi.

[Thanks, JKTrix. You're the inspiration.]