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Frank O'Connor leaves Bungie for Microsoft to work on Halo franchise

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5.16

Sony finds Harrison's replacement in Shuhei Yoshida

5.15

April NPD: GTA IV, Mario Kart Wii race to the top

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First screens: Soul Calibur for XBLA looking sharp

Zero Punctuation enjoys Grand Theft Auto-rotica

Comments (62) by Alexander Sliwinski May 14th 2008 4:45PM

Filed under: Sony PlayStation 3, Microsoft Xbox 360, Action, Adventure

Zero Punctuation takes on Grand Theft Auto IV this week, but if you're one of the five people who didn't buy the game and are hoping for some ZP hate-fest on par with the Super Smash Bros. Brawl review ... then you have another thing coming. Yahtzee doesn't exactly suck GTA IV's "thumb" -- like he does Valve's -- but the issues he grasps onto are relatively minor points about getting lost in the side stuff. Not really full of his trademark, hyperbolic bile then. Shockingly, he even says that after finishing the review, he went back and played the game some more. It appears Niko Bellic has found a friend in Yahtzee.

Find this week's NSFW relative non-hate review of GTA IV after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation enjoys Grand Theft Auto-rotica

Zero Punctuation reviews fanboys

Comments (134) by Alexander Sliwinski May 7th 2008 10:00PM

Filed under: Culture

Apparently Yahtzee found the fanboy uproar over his Super Smash Bros. Brawl review so irritating that this week's Zero Punctuation is dedicated to reviewing the unpaid console defenders out there. Yahtzee finds his rage again this week and lashes out in a way that many professionals who make their living off the internet wish they could. Not us, of course, we're too heavily medicated and just allow the sea of hate to wash over us in waves of brilliant pinks and purples. Numbness is the first step to professional happiness on the internetz.

Find Yahtzee's NSFW love-letter to fanboys after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation reviews fanboys

Zero Punctuation takes on the God of War

Comments (45) by Alexander Sliwinski Apr 30th 2008 4:00PM

Filed under: Culture, Sony PSP, Reviews

Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee isn't content with taking on just God of War: Chains of Olympus this week. No, he takes on the whole bloody franchise. What we end up getting is almost four minutes of Yahtzee admitting that he's nitpicking and that the series helps give us relief from our 9 8:30 to 5 6 (with a half-hour lunch break) lives. The trademark Yahtzee anger just isn't there in this review, but considering it was overflowing in last week's Smash Bros. piece, an easing of tension might be good for a week.

This week's NSFW review eviscerating God of War: Chains of Olympus can be found after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation takes on the God of War

Zero Punctuation beats up Smash Bros. Brawl ... you're surprised?

Comments (132) by Alexander Sliwinski Apr 23rd 2008 8:30PM

Filed under: Culture, Nintendo Wii, Action, Adventure, Fighting

This is the Zero Punctuation that'll make the Nintendo Defense Force mobilize and threaten nuclear annihilation. This week Yahtzee takes on one of the Wii's golden cows with his review wholesale bludgeoning of Super Smash Bros. Brawl. For those just joining the ZP party, Yahtzee doesn't like Nintendo very much. If you love SSBB, great. If you don't like it, that's great too. Just sit back and enjoy the review for the spectacle in hatred it is.

Fanboys, prepare for masochism after the break with this week's NSFW review of Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation beats up Smash Bros. Brawl ... you're surprised?

Zero Punctuation loves Condemned 2 ... until halfway through

Comments (48) by Alexander Sliwinski Apr 16th 2008 7:30PM

Filed under: Sony PlayStation 3, Reviews, Microsoft Xbox 360, Action, Adventure

Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee beats up sleep-deprived hobos this week for his Condemned 2: Bloodshot review and, up until the midway point, was all set to name it "game of the year." Apparently, Condemned 2 suffers from the same disease which afflicted Indigo Prophecy (Fahrenheit to our European friends), where the game took a left turn halfway through and players were introduced to concepts that ruined everything built up to that point. Those who played Indigo Prophecy (and were enjoying themselves) probably remember the moment that game went from intriguing to ridiculous.

Get your homeless-beating fix after the break with this week's NSFW review of Condemned 2: Bloodshot.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation loves Condemned 2 ... until halfway through

Zero Punctuation believes in No More Heroes

Comments (44) by Alexander Sliwinski Apr 9th 2008 11:00PM

Filed under: Culture, Reviews, Nintendo Wii, Action

Zero Punctuation discovers that we could use another hero (and a way home) in this week's review of Suda 51's No More Heroes. Rightful finger-pointing at Suda 51's pretentiousness starts the review, but it soon gets slashed away by Yahtzee's belief that No More Heroes does offer something "different." As we all know, "different" is this industry's version of the Monopoly "Get Out of Jail Free" card. It won't save a game from nasty reviews, but the cuts are certainly less deep.

Thunderdome your way to this week's NSFW review of No More Heroes after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation believes in No More Heroes

Zero Punctuation is an army of one in Army of Two

Comments (10) by Alexander Sliwinski Apr 2nd 2008 4:00PM

Filed under: Culture, Sony PlayStation 3, Microsoft Xbox 360

The normally solitary Yahtzee (he is a PC snob after all) takes on Army of Two this week, a game designed to be played co-op -- so we already know this is going to end badly. After becoming frustrated with his computer partner's AI, he decides to invite a friend over and proceeds to become frustrated with his human companion's abilities as well. Like any listener of the Joystiq Podcast already knows, Army of Two has a lot of issues, the least of which is forgetting that for a co-op action shooter it sort of missed the boat on creating an enjoyable co-op experience.

This week's NSFW review of Army of Two can be found after the break. Watch it with a friend, or if you're a PC gamer your favorite plant.*

*Oh, calm down ... this is coming from the blogger who can spend days playing Civilization IV and Sins of a Solar Empire.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation is an army of one in Army of Two

Zero Punctuation spares Zack & Wiki

Comments (36) by Alexander Sliwinski Mar 26th 2008 6:30PM

Filed under: Culture, Nintendo Wii

Zack & Wiki is the target of this week's Zero Punctuation review and thankfully the game comes out relatively unscathed. Sure, there are remarks about the Wii being for children, the annoying noises the characters make and the gimmicky use of the Wiimote -- but, really, how many Wii games don't conjure up those ideas?*

The main thing Yahtzee points out is Zack & Wiki delivers on that smug feeling adventure gamers get when they figure out a puzzle without using GameFAQs, which is essentially what will keep players going ... even when they invariably die over and over again for poking something they shouldn't have.

Discover this week's NSFW review of Zack & Wiki using your Wiimote in a counter-clockwise motion while upside down to click on the link below.

*Fanboys: Feel free to leave your list in the comments ... we know you will.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation spares Zack & Wiki

Zero Punctuation hunts Turok and other FPSs

Comments (76) by Alexander Sliwinski Mar 19th 2008 7:00PM

Filed under: Culture, Sony PlayStation 3, Microsoft Xbox 360, First Person Shooters

Zero Punctuation tries to be helpful this week by beating Turok with blunt vocabulary and attempting to help other first person shooter developers not make the same mistakes. The six minor points Yahtzee lays out ask shooters not to be cheap imitations of Halo, which itself is a cheap knock-off of ... oh, let's avoid finishing that sentence for the sake of being able to turn on the car tomorrow morning with reasonable knowledge it won't explode.

This week's NSFW review of that game with dinosaurs, Turok, is embedded all cozy-like after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation hunts Turok and other FPSs

Zero Punctuation doesn't find paradise in Burnout

Comments (52) by Alexander Sliwinski Mar 12th 2008 6:00PM

Filed under: Culture, Sony PlayStation 3, Microsoft Xbox 360, Driving

Zero Punctuation takes a spin in Burnout Paradise this week and discovers that cars have taken over Paradise City and people are nowhere to be found. The main sticking point Yahtzee has with the game is that while Burnout Paradise has an open world like Grand Theft Auto, requiring the player to look at a map during a high-speed chase is a bit awkward. He realizes the game isn't designed for him, but rather for people who don't have time to play games and are too busy having carnal relations.

This week's NSFW review of Burnout Paradise, involving a joke about female menstruation and biscuit mutilation, can be found after the break.

[Thanks, Sam]

Continue reading Zero Punctuation doesn't find paradise in Burnout

Zero Punctuation tears up Devil May Cry 4

Comments (57) by Alexander Sliwinski Mar 5th 2008 9:00PM

Filed under: Culture, Sony PlayStation 3, Microsoft Xbox 360

Did you feel that Devil May Cry 4 was so busy with its own style that it neglected to actually let you play -- well, so did Yahtzee. This week Zero Punctuation takes on DMC 4, the game which pulled a Metal Gear Solid 2 on us and introduced a character who was kind of like our original hero, but totally not. Don't be upset with Yahtzee's rage DMC fanboys, take solace in the knowledge that your beloved franchise has already shipped 2 million copies.

This week's less NSFW than usual review of Devil May Cry 4 can be found after the break.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation tears up Devil May Cry 4

Zero Punctuation seeks Drake's Fortune, snorts some GDC

Comments (104) by Alexander Sliwinski Feb 27th 2008 4:30PM

Filed under: Sony PlayStation 3, Action, Adventure

Wow, Yahtzee needs to visit the States more often if spending such a small amount of time for GDC brings on this level of devilishly delightful hate. This week Zero Punctuation takes on -- some will say quite unfairly -- Uncharted: Drake's Fortune. Every little possibly insane nit-pick thing is leveled against poor Uncharted, including the fact that it's the best game for white supremacists ever. The issues are quite silly for a game that is currently one of the few jewels in the PS3's crown, but Yahtzee is in top entertainment form -- he even makes a rare appearance au naturel (like as a human, not naked).

Included after the break with this week's NSFW review of Uncharted: Drake's Fortune is ZP's video presentation at the Game Developers Choice awards.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation seeks Drake's Fortune, snorts some GDC

Zero Punctuation's BioShock Opening

Comments (34) by Michael Zenke Feb 20th 2008 3:15PM

Filed under: Culture, Features, PC, Microsoft Xbox 360, Action, First Person Shooters, GDC, Machinima

Ken Levine gave an amazing talk this morning on the process of crafting BioShock's story. There were two video presentations during the course of the talk and one of them was a hilarious mile-a-minute clip from Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw - the twisted mind behind the Escapist's Zero Punctuation. We have a video of the clip, which was introduced by Levine as "their original idea for how to start BioShock", below the cut.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation's BioShock Opening

Zero Punctuation attempts building SimCity Societies

Comments (31) by Alexander Sliwinski Feb 13th 2008 11:00PM

Filed under: Culture, PC, Sony PlayStation 3, Microsoft Xbox 360, First Person Shooters, Strategy

If you believe that Zero Punctuation's only reason for playing SimCity Societies was to make a totalitarian government in the vein of the Nazi regime -- well, you'd be right. This week Yahtzee takes on the fantastically average game and ends up complaining about it more than making fun of it. In the end he says that SimCity Societies isn't worth the player's time, but then anybody who actually bought SimCity Societies probably already knows that.

After the break you'll find this week's NSFW review of SimCity Societies, with special Team Fortress 2 homage to the love which dare not speak its name.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation attempts building SimCity Societies

Zero Punctuation 'previews' begin on X-Play Feb. 12

Comments (31) by Alexander Sliwinski Feb 11th 2008 8:25PM

Filed under: Culture

If you can't wait until Wednesdays to get your Zero Punctuation fix, G4's X-Play will begin showing "previews" of Yahtzee's adventures in game-review land every Tuesday beginning February 12 before the "uncut" reviews are posted on The Escapist the following day.

Basically, G4 will probably be showing a watered-down (i.e. censored) version of the profanity-laden reviews before The Escapist gives us our quality fix the following day. Although its nice that G4 is presumably giving Mr. Croshaw some extra cash to spend on hookers with genetic anomalies, perhaps X-Play (and its revamped format) could come up with something original to grab viewers instead of riding The Escapist's coattails? But, this is clearly a win-win for both sides.

Continue reading Zero Punctuation 'previews' begin on X-Play Feb. 12

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